There are so many things I could say about women. More importantly, there is so much I could say about my mother. She was my example and blueprint for womanhood.

Mothers are often seen as these selfless human beings who raise children that eventually become presidents, doctors, creatives, scientists, architects, athletes, musicians, and more. Mothers have this beautiful job to help cultivate the lives of their children. Now, as a grown woman, I look back on my own childhood with fondness and horror as I reflect on how I sometimes treated my mom.

As a child, I was a daddy’s girl. I was closer to my dad than my mom because I thought my mom wasn’t cool. We were already complete opposites, personality-wise. She did not dress cool like the other moms. She was not “hip” like I wanted her to be, and I did not understand her. I could have sworn that God gave me the wrong mother.

I was a good kid, but once I turned ten my mom and I had a rough road ahead. I never wanted her to be around my friends. I even tried to ignore her in public once (notice I said ‘tried’—because it did not work). I remember the teen years when we weren’t getting along. I would say hurtful things and give her a hard time, but she was not moved or phased by my teenage angst. She was a force to be reckoned with, and Lord knows you do not mess with a black momma.

Thankfully college and distance helped our relationship grow and develop. After I graduated from college, I needed a roommate to live with in Houston. I desperately wanted to live into the city, but I had no friends I could room with. So my mom packed up her stuff and moved to the city with me. We had a rough start as “grown up” roommates, but we slowly figured it out. My mom became my friend, and in adulthood, she became my best friend.

As an adult, I began to see all the wonderful things she taught me, like how to serve others, forgive quickly, save money, extend grace, be a lady, and chase after my dreams. If I tell my mom about my biggest dream, she says, “Yes, I can see that. Let’s get started—let’s make it happen!” She is the most incredible human being I have ever met. I just published my debut memoir , and she was right there with me in the bookstore as I saw my book for the first time on display. She smiled big and took pictures with me. It was a special moment for us both.

I have come a long way from thinking my mom wasn’t cool enough. Now I think she is so beautiful and gracious, and daily I am trying to figure out how to embody the love of God as she does. Her unconditional love shaped my womanhood. She forgave me when I said mean things, she lovingly corrected me when I was wrong, and she held me close when I was hurting. To walk in such grace and gentleness as a woman is something I admire and aspire to do in my own life.

So, to all the mothers out there, you are doing a great job. If, at certain moments, your kids don’t seem to like you, don’t worry. It will get better. Eventually we learn that you were right about a lot of stuff. We learn how much we need you and value you. We learn.

What’s a lesson you’ve learned from your mother or mother figure about life?