It was April 2019, the world was in a panic because of the COVID pandemic, and we were uncertain of what the next day would bring. Who knew during such a tragic time that my personal life would also be in a panic…
I was an educator and things were really bleak in the school system. We were forced to teach in a way no one had done before. So, along with thousands of other teachers, I had to go home to work for a while, but then the job decided to return us to work in person during the pandemic. I feared for my life and the life of my husband because of his health problems, and asked if I could remain at home.
I had been married for almost 30 years at the time—not always happily but married. I was satisfied that I still had a steady income and a husband that loved me, or so I thought. Out of the blue, he says, I am moving back to Seattle. This had been the place our family shared for years and the place we promised to retire someday, but this wasn’t that day. At first I didn’t believe him. After all, I was the perfect spouse—or so I thought. But it happened. He moved and left me alone with all the bills and no notice. No answers.
I was devastated. For so many years I was the quiet, abused wife who had remained by his side through the heartaches, heartbreaks, lies, deceit, and yeah, even the chemical dependency. But none of those things mattered. In spite of everything I thought I would feel had I left him, I was broken and alone. Friends and family tried to console me, but this was something I had to endure by myself. No matter what he was in the marriage, he was there, and nothing in my life could have prepared me for the emotions I would go through once he was gone.
The tears fell, and I had to find something to keep my mind off my pain, so I began writing. I had written several books, but this was my time to turn my pain into something positive. The books kept coming, and before I knew it I had published 15 of them. But what next? What could I do to stop my heart from breaking? I had to allow my heart to break and my tears to fall until there were no more. I prayed and asked God to remove from me the love I had for this man and to restore me. Even though my heart was mending, there were still days I wondered what I could have done to prevent it. But I had to trust that this was in God’s plan to deliver me from myself.
I took off the mask of shame and humiliation and pressed through to the idea of starting my own publishing company. Since I had already gone through the rigorous process of finding the right publisher for some of my own books (and spending tons of money), I wanted to help others do the same.
In September 2020, I started my own publishing company to help put more African American books into classrooms and on the shelves. I wanted to be that publishing company that allowed people to fulfill their dream of becoming an author at an affordable price. Since then, I have published more than 20 titles for authors (including myself) and am currently writing, producing, and directing stage plays based on some of those books.
Although I live in St. Louis, Missouri, I was able to see my first play successfully presented in Dallas, Texas, over the summer. And it will be presented again in Memphis, Tennessee, in October. Who knew that through my tears, pain, and loneliness I would stand today with joy in my heart, knowing God has birthed in me gifts and talents I didn’t realize I had. I look forward to seeing where God is going to take me and, as always, to using whatever I have gone through to be an encouragement to someone else.
I am standing today with no more tears for what I have lost but joy in knowing the possibilities are endless. The thing that turned my life upside down ended up being a blessing in disguise.
Leave a Comment
I know that pain and I am thankful that you were able to turn it into purpose. I feel stuck myself, I have all of my writing sitting next to me and don’t know where to start, but because of your story I know I just have to start, thank you for your testimony!
Thanks so much
Your story is inspiring and relatable. I hope to have the courage one day to reveal my writings to the world!!
Tap into your courage. Keep writing so that when you are ready your stories will be a gift to the world. You can fictionalize the characters and places. It doesn’t have to be a memoir. Keep writing, your voice deserves to be heard!💜
You can just push through your pain a little at a time even through the tears.
What a beautiful story. It really blessed me. I could relate to it on many levels. I am an author, I write stage plays, I live 5 minutes from St. Louis in IL. I would love to meet you one day.
Karen Jethroe
Thank you. Definitely, sounds like a plan.
Wow, wow, wow! I’m sorry for the pain and suffering you had to go through, but I am so happy for your growth and willingness to help others. I have gone through something very similar! But to keep this short, I live in Chicago but I have only been back a week after seeing one of my short stories made into a short social justice film. The story scene through the eyes of an eight year old child who experiences racism for the first time. The plan is to use it as an educational resource. As they say, it’s in the can! My novel that is the source of this short story will be ready to be published some time in 2023. I would so love to communicate with you. As they say, there are no accidents.💜
Yes definitely. Congratulations
*seen
Well, Amen!!
Wonderful story!!! Moral of the story…When you feel like your life is in a valley or under dirt, always know that the seed can only grow while it is covered under the dirt.
Amen
“Out of the ashes spring beauty” Do I hear a movie? Such an amazing story! Continue to allow God’s Holy Spirit to surprise you will even more gifts and opportunities! I am godly proud to be your sister!
Thanks so much my sister
To God b the Glory!!! “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
Amen
Please share your publishing company information.
Thank you. It is North Memphis Publishing House
Great read!! Such a powerful testimony of resilience
Amen
Thank you
Your Story Is Truly Amazing, And Inspiring. Thanks So Much For Sharing.
Thank you so much
Omgoodness! This sounds like me. I write but never published. I applaud you for stepping out on faith and following your passion through your pain! Wow! God is so faithful!
Amen thanks so much
Sounds so similar except GOD took my daughter and I out of a domestic violence situation. It was hard but I was able to heal enough to let another man into our lives who treated me like a queen. We were together for 25 years before he died but I still cherish the memories we made.
That’s great. Good for you
A beautiful and touching story, you are on top of the world 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽. Still the best is yet to come, you are very talented and gifted. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks so much. I receive that
Thank you for sharing your story. Very touching and raw. What’s the name of the publishing company? I recently started me own in 2020. First book on track to release December 2022 or January 2023.
That’s great. It’s North Memphis Publishing House
Thank you for your inspiring story. I too am interested in writing. I do poems. It is a healing that I never knew. I hope I too can pursue my dream.
Thank you. That’s great
What an incredible story of how life’s obstacles can turn around and become stepping stones to a better. Thank you for being so open with your journey.
Thanks so much
This is a beautiful story of how you can overcome any obstacles. Thank you for your inspiration!
Thanks so much
What a beautiful testimony! Continue allowing God to use you as a vessel! God bless you my sister!
Thanks my sister
Did you mean April 2020 instead of 2019?
If I say 2020, will you read the article? Thanks
What the devil meant for bad God meant it for your God. The courage and strength you have shown in facing the truth about your marriage and yourself is admirable. It is clear that you have accomplished some amazing things, but woman of God – God is not through with you yet. I look forward to seeing what God will birth through you next.
Amen. Thanks so much for your encouragement.