They say, “Be the bigger person.” My response is always, “How can I do that when the other person is purposely trying to hurt me and attack my character?”

I know they’re trying to get a reaction out of me. I’m just going to be transparent and admit that I didn’t always win that battle. To this day, I still struggle with speaking a kind word to turn away anger. Over time, I have seen change happen because it used to not bother me to be tit-for-tat with someone. Now, however, the person I see when I look in the mirror is not the person I once was. Thank goodness for growth.

I tended to hold in my emotions and when I finally let loose and told people how I really felt, it came out like word vomit. Holding things in caused me a lot of hurt and disappointment because I wasn’t honest with people about my true feelings. I came off as nonchalant when in fact I was deeply bothered and felt as if my feelings were disregarded. I was once told by my own father that I’m strong, so I’ll be okay if he and my mom had to back out on something that they promised me. I was highly irritated and annoyed by his comment because they were so dismissive of my feelings. You’re my dad and that’s what you tell your child? No condolences or remorse? No, I wouldn’t be okay. I purposely didn’t ask them to attend my event so that I wouldn’t get my hopes up if their response was indeed “No.” But they volunteered to come and be a part of the celebration—so surely, they were still on board and hadn’t actually had a change of heart, right? Ha! The joke was on me.

In life, you’re going to go through changes and experience peaks and valleys. Experience will teach you to attempt to do things a different way if you desire a more positive outcome. I had to learn that I couldn’t keep flying off the handle and being the catalyst for things hitting the fan. I had to not only be a reader of the Word but a doer of the Word. I needed to evolve, change my mindset, and undergo a transformation. Transformation is the product of prayer, belief, and surrendering to God’s will for your life. I had to ask God to clean me up from the inside out and help me to be more like Him. I had to acknowledge my shortcomings and work on turning my weaknesses into strengths. I had to stop placing the blame on others and be accountable for my actions. I also had to change my perspective and look for the good in people instead of thinking about them and their intentions in a negative way.

Change isn’t easy especially when you’ve been doing something a certain way for an extended period of time; however, I had to recognize that I couldn’t reach that next level if I was still operating the same way. I needed to do some self-reflection and work on my inner self. I came to realize that it’s not always about being right, but more about being effective. This revelation is crucial and a necessary step in the healing process. I needed to mature; just because you become a year older each year doesn’t mean that you suddenly make wiser choices. I’m thankful for my metamorphosis. I went from a caterpillar to a butterfly.

Moving forward, my motto will be “Go For More in 2024.” I will strive to have more peaceful days. I will be intentional about loving on my loved ones with both my words and actions. I will pray to God to continue to change my heart. I believe that I’m never too far away from His grace. I’m mentally prepared to keep doing the hard work and persevere until I experience a breakthrough. I know that God is with me every step of the way.

Are you undergoing a transformation?