About the Author

Ash Renee is a native pf Pittsburgh, PA. She was introduced to theater at a young age, but her true passion is in writing. She hopes that one day she can pursue a career in the writing industry for TV and film.

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Reader Interactions


  1. This is definitely my year of no and what it does help me say yes to the things that are important to me.

  2. I am proud of you. I completed understand because I had to always watch my sibling and I did not say no because I did not think I could say no because that would be disrespectful to talk back. I feel that watching them I had to grow up fast. I am having issue with this today being a caretaker. I am in therapy work on these issues. I did tell my mother as an adult It was not fair to care for my sibling. She still today as me to take my sister out when I go visit and I don’t want to because I had to do it as a child and now, I don’t have to because I am adult, and I understand sister have a disability.

  3. Love this story. Trying to teach my granddaughter the art of saying no and not feeling bad when she does. Will be sharing this story with her.

  4. I totally understand that. I love my mother but she controlled me all of my life. Finally at 26 I said “no” to her for the first time. She didn’t speak to me for about a month but I stood firm. It got better.

  5. I really appreciate this post! I am a 71 years YOUNG caregiver to my 84 years OLD husband. Being a caregiver to him can be challenging however, I too learned to say NO to his often demanding requests without fear of his outbursts. It doesn’t matter to him that he has a physical therapist, occupational therapist, home health care assistant who cater to many of his needs but when they aren’t around he expects me to do for him the things they have trained him to do to improve his daily living. He does them well when they are present.

    Due to his illness he doesn’t drive so this weekend there were events that he wanted to participate in so I made sure that I’d have enough energy to make sure he participated in ALL of them.

    First on Friday I drove him to his Dr. Appt After the Dr. Appt. which is in the same city as our church. we attended our church’s Fish Fry. Traveling to and from our church and his dr. appt is 36-40 miles roundtrip. I made sure he participated/ attended the Fish Fry because he loves to talk to and meet people. After being there for 4 hours, we left and I dropped him off to his barber for a shave. I left him there and went and went back to pick him up.

    Saturday I drove him to participate in a 2 hour Men’s conference at another church in the same town as our church. I made sure he was on time. I went to the mall in the same city while he attended his event and bought him a nice shirt and pair of slacks to wear for Resurrection Sunday.

    Sunday we attended church (36 miles round trip) and afterwards went to dinner at a restaurant in the city where we live.

    Afterwards I took him home then drove to another city to see my sister who is in a rehab center 38 miles round trip. So after all of the activity which included driving, I was exhausted!

    Part of his occupational therapy includes learning how to put on ‘depends’ properly without my assistance. He does this very well however when I returned home he asked me to assist him with this activity. I said ‘NO’. He became beligerant and went into one of his temper tantrums! I looked at him, called him a ‘devil’ and left him holding his ‘depends’, which he threw across the room.

    Anyway I stood my ground, had a good nights rest and here it is Monday. Thank you for posting ‘the art of saying No’. At any age saying No is POWERFUL for the caregiver at any age!

  6. Thank you for your say. I finally learned how to say no when I during my internship year. And it was to my discovery the importance of setting boundaries and having healthy boundaries. As well as being assertive. Today, I have no problem saying no or that I feel uncomfortable with a situation. It is essential to take care of yourself.

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