Drake said it best when he sang, “Light me like a rocket, cause can’t nothing stop it.”
I don’t know if it’s age. I don’t know if it’s wisdom (that only comes with age). I don’t know if it’s the reality that life is precious… But I do know that I’m at a point in my life where I’m on the fast track to the glow up. I’m prioritizing my health. I’m prioritizing my money. I’m prioritizing my business. I’m prioritizing my relationships. And I’m prioritizing my purpose.
For me, prioritizing my health means working out Monday through Friday at 6am—sweat dripping after a workout is the best. Prioritizing my money means taking control of my budget and being intentional about every financial decision or purchase. Prioritizing my business means showing up for my clients and community because making them feel seen and heard is what it’s about! Prioritizing my relationships means spending quality time with those I love. That always leaves me feeling good anyways. Finally, prioritizing my purpose means I’m living in my truth and doing the things that fill my cup and feed my soul.
I wish I would have come to this point sooner. There have been a few times in my life when I stayed quiet, patiently waiting for my turn to glow—not putting my name in for that promotion I was qualified for, not acknowledging my worth and negotiating a salary that reflected it, letting other people take the cake even though there was plenty to go around… NO more.
Why should we dim our shine and avoid the spotlight?! When I ask myself this question, I realize the answer is ingrained in our society. A hundred years ago, I feel like Black women couldn’t glow. We weren’t seen as equal by white society, and sometimes we didn’t even want to be seen for fear of conflict, punishment or worse. No wonder women of color will choose to sit down, be quiet, and avoid the limelight.
But sisters, we have the best opportunity we’ve ever had to take off like fireworks. Black women are thriving in education, business, relationships, and more. This is our time to be seen! Did you know that Black women represent 42% of new women-owned businesses—three times their share of the female population? That tells me I’m not alone in my sentiments. It tells me that we can glow up and help other women do the same. That’s exactly what I intend to do. I don’t want to play small in this life. I want to inspire others. I want to influence change. I want to leave this place a little better than when I came into it.
We know what we’ve endured, and we know what we’re capable of. So, where do we start? How do we let ourselves shine? How do we take off like fireworks?
For starters, we can get clear about what we want. I firmly believe that when passion fuels your purpose, you’ll live a life full of joy. Think about your passions and how you can pursue them as a means of financial security. You don’t have to make millions to survive. I would take a lower salary that allows me to live my dream life over millions of dollars and miserable days every time. I just need to know what my dream life looks like.
Another thing we can do is get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Taking risks will be uncomfortable, but it will help us build the confidence we need to be in the spotlight and help other women get there too. Try doing something you’ve been putting off, whether it’s asking for a raise, going back to school, leaving a toxic relationship, or starting a business. When we get out of our comfort zones, amazing things can happen.
For me, getting out of my comfort zone looks like dates with myself (dinner and a movie, please), attending local networking events (especially if they’re hosted by women of color), and investing in a business coach. I’m ready to level up, and these steps can help me do it.
I believe we are capable of doing anything we put our minds to. The time to take off like fireworks is right now. And you know what? We got this!
Health, money, relationships, or purpose–how will you prioritize yourself?
Lexy says
Wew come on, this article got me pumped. After focusing on everyone else for so long I too had to say yes to me more and it feels great!
Raya Reaves says
Say that again Lexy! It’s OUR time!!
Rasheeda S. says
I love this sentiment of prioritizing health. Your words are encouraging and l enjoyed reading your article as a black woman. I’m encouraged to step out into my day glowing!
Raya Reaves says
I LOVE that! Prioritizing health is something that benefits us all! Can’t wait to see how you conquer the day, week, year and LIFE!
Rose says
It’s our time sista-friends to glow. Shine on! Shine on!
Raya Reaves says
Shine on!
Joyce Sato says
Raya, how did you get started with Mahogany? What is the orocess?
Raya Reaves says
You can start by submitting guest posts and work your way up to a contributing writer (if that’s what you want). There is more information here: https://mahogany.com/guest-post-submissions/