They say “April showers bring May flowers”—here’s hoping! It feels like a lot of showers leading up to the middle of spring, and I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for some flowers. Between the state of our economy, the actions of our country, family health scares and the 10-year anniversary of my dad’s untimely passing, the showers have seeped into my mind.
Growing up, I considered myself a positive person. I was always told by my dad to keep a positive mind. His mantra was “make it a great day.” It wasn’t until I got into the real world (aka life after college) that the weight of everything started to add up, block by block. Children aren’t meant to carry the weight of the world. They’re merely supposed to see and experience things that shape them into the adults they become. I saw and experienced things that shaped me into the adult I am today, but no one can guess how things will turn out.
No one can know that the person you’re closest to will be taken away when you’re 24 years old. No one can predict that their only surviving parent could be hanging on by a thread. No one can anticipate that the evil which exists in the world might show up at a church, school, or grocery store, and end the lives of innocent people.
I can sense the pull of these showers on my mind. They want to take me down terrible rabbit holes; they want me to forget about the happy, positive things that have happened in between. While no one can know when these things will happen, it doesn’t change the fact that they do. And it doesn’t change the fact that life has to goes on.
I have no doubt we all sense the weight of these showers, but I refuse to let them pull me down into a place I can’t come back from. As the May flowers come, I’m vowing to spring clean my mind. I can’t erase—or even attempt to forget—everything that’s happened up to this point, but what I can do is open up my umbrella, let the rain fall, and choose to see the sun shining through.
Over time, I’ve found journaling to be an amazing way to bring me back to the light. I like to journal positive memories of my life: funny conversations with my dad, laughing in the car with my mom as we drive to our usual shopping spots, exploring new and different parts of the world (like Turks and Caicos for my 30th birthday), and leaving corporate America to fulfill my dreams of being a full-time business owner. In my journaling sessions, I take myself back to those times. I sit in the feelings of pure joy and wholeness. Tears come to my eyes as I think about those things, but they’re happy tears.
I also like to get lost in books. I just finished reading People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry, and it was as if I was a tag-along character. Visualizing the story and putting myself in the places and feelings of the characters sucks me right in! Sure, when the book closes, I’m back to my world, but the excitement of the story lingers.
As I embark on this journey of seeking mental flowers, everything comes back to gratitude and faith. Faith that God has led me through everything up until this point. Faith that everything that has happened and will happen was meant for me. Gratitude for the amazing memories I do have. Gratitude for the ability to make more amazing memories. I choose to turn away from the mental showers, the sadness and negativity, and to walk towards the blooming flowers, the reminder that good things are on the horizon.
Sometimes the showers linger in our minds longer than needed, whether we’re aware of it or not.
How are you spring cleaning your thoughts so future flowers can bloom?