There’s something about the summertime that brings out a childlike joy and exuberance in me. I can hear the ice cream truck and jump ropes scraping the pavement… Without a doubt, summer is my favorite season. After suffering through shoveling snow in the dead of winter and my allergies losing the “knuck if you buck” tussle to pollen every spring, summertime is my time to shine. No matter how increasingly hot it gets (due to climate change) you’ll never hear me complain about the heat.
A couple of years ago, Megan Thee Stallion gave us the summertime anthem, “Hot Girl Summer.” Now the sistas are calling for a Soft Black Girl Summer, and I’m here for it. Black women need a Soft Black Girl Summer where we experience ease, pleasure, travel, unbridled joy, and yes softness.
Black women are simultaneously seen and silenced; we are revolutionaries yet restricted; we are creators yet co-opted. We are treated as mules only to be marginalized and erased. As for the loads we carry, they are credited to another—to anyone, for that matter—so long as the Black woman is not acknowledged for doing the work others shirked. We are trusted to construct, saw, sand, and assemble the table but barred from taking a seat at the very table we built.
For over two years, we have been in the midst of a pandemic, misogynoir, racism, and mass shootings, all which continue unabated. Work seems more demanding now than it was pre-pandemic. We are burned out—at this point, even our burnout is burned out. We need a season of respite where we can locate, gather, and return home to ourselves, to each other, and get acquainted with these new versions of ourselves that have emerged in the pandemic.
We won’t have the mental and emotional stamina to continue to press on if we don’t take a season to just be. On my social media, I’ve seen the funny-yet-gentle warnings that go something like “don’t soft life your way into debt,” and with the way these student loans are set up, I felt that. I think our default is to believe that we have to break the bank in order to indulge in the soft life. But I don’t subscribe to a narrow definition of softness that is bound to materialism and capitalism.
As the adage says, “the best things in life are free.” With inflation on the rise, an impending recession, and these gas prices (Jesus, be a fuel rebate!), I believe in the budget-friendly Soft Black Girl Summer. It includes free summer festivals that celebrate the African diaspora, visiting museums to take in the beauty and art, nature walks to soak up all the vitamin D my melanated skin can handle (do wear your sunscreen, sis!), discovering a new hobby, or simply curling up with one of the many books I’ve been meaning to read since the beginning of the year. All these free or low-cost activities can be done solo or with friends.
For me, Soft Black Girl Summer looks like gathering with friends and/or family when the only agenda is to chill and ‘kiki’ with each other; it looks like saying “no” to plans and events that will interfere with my ability to carve out time to replenish myself. Undoubtedly, my Soft Black Girl Summer will look different from yours, and that’s a good thing because we are not a monolith.
All I know is, this movement is long overdue. We are certainly worthy of all the ease, enjoyment, and frolicking one Soft Black Girl Summer can contain.
Sis, what does your “Soft Black Girl Summer” look like?
Leave a Comment
Robin Haysbert says
My soft girl summer looks like me sitting on the beach in Jamaica, taking in the Jamaican sun and gazing at the beautiful blue ocean.
It is me leaving behind the worries of the world if not just for a moment to seek peace and serenity.
Ekemini Uwan says
Yasss, Robin! That’s exactly what my Soft Black Girl Summer looks like, too! I just got back from a glorious vacation in Jamaica.
Whitney Weathers says
My soft Black girl summer looks like daily walks and journaling in the warmth of the sun and discovering new tea flavors. Oh, and reading: lots and lots of reading.
Ekemini Uwan says
I love this Soft Black Girl Summer plan, Whitney! Soaking up the vitamin D during a walk is so therapeutic. I also love journaling. Thank you for reading my article, and have a great rest of the summer.
Lisa says
I love this beautiful story. Summertime happens to be my favorite season also. For me, soft girl summer means I can gently take care of myself. Self care, taking in a deep breath, journaling and learning more about who I am. Thank you for a beautiful message.
Ekemini Uwan says
“Soft girl summer means I can gently take care of myself.” I love this quote, Lisa. That really sums up the season for me. I hope you get plenty of time to do just that. Thank you for reading and engaging my article.
Ruby L. Simmons says
Thank you for the provocative insight to “soft girl summer”. A time to slow down, reflect, bask in the sun, and become woke to the negative surroundings. Continue to enlight the readers.
Ekemini Uwan says
You’re welcome! Thank you very much for reading my words. Have a soft summer, sis!
Deborah Williams says
Beautifully said. I can picture myself in that respite place. With friends/family being able to forget for even a small time, the things that wear you down. Looking for ways to extend that beautiful time. God knows us, and puts us where we need to be. 🌹
Ekemini Uwan says
Beautiful reminder, sis! God knows exactly what we need and when we need it. I’m glad my writing provides a brief portal to that place of respite you enjoy and desire. God bless you!
Ros NubianSunflower Miles says
My soft Black Girl Summer is very similar to the authors. I’m hanging with friends yet no afraid to say no if I need a break. I’m focusing on me yet available, at MY leisure.
Ekemini Uwan says
This is great, sis! “No” is a complete sentence and there are times when we have to say “no” in the name of self-care. Blessings to you!
Tracy Bryant says
I love the imagery in your writing! I also LOVE summer, this is definitely a “Soft Black Girl Summer” for me! I’m using each day to find its own peaceful place, no agendas, relaxing with soft outdoor lighting on my patio at night, swimming and beach napping with my two kids often! This is a moment in time where I am committed to embracing beautiful sunsets and the nothingness that is required back from me! As an elementary principal, I needed this softness to catch my breath and lavish in the nothingness agenda of summer! Reading, listening to music and enjoying wine and snacks with my sistas is the added bonus!
Be well Sisters 🥰
Ekemini Uwan says
As a principal, you definitely earned a Soft Black Girl Summer, sis! Take it all in. Yours sound so lovely, peaceful, and restorative, which is what you need to keep pressing on when the school year starts again. Enjoy the rest of your Soft Black Girl Summer, sis!
Deneise Sawyer says
So far my soft black girl summer consists of various picnics with my husband sitting under a tree, just enjoying the here and now. A trip to St. Louis in Aug. visiting the beach with my girlfriends locally. I’m also intentional with taking a moment out my day to read novels & self help books while sipping on black tea w lemons. Life can be overwhelming at times and life is TOO short. Enjoy the gifts that God gives us everyday
Ekemini Uwan says
I love the ease that is jumping out as you describe your soft Black girl summer, sis! Taking those intentional moments out of my day is something I need to incorporate. Thank you for reading.
Michelle M. Green says
My soft Black girl summer feels like frolicking in the pool, dancing it out to oldies but goodies remembering when life was simpler, remembering when we were all here, cracking up about nothing until out stomachs hurt. It definitely involved ice cream of all sorts, from the pink soft serve ice cream truck, from some little hole-in-the-wall gelato spot, from banana popsicles on the fourth of July. It involves root beer floats on a hot summer day, and a little baseball game playing out in the background with the volume turned down so we can catch up as sisters. You cannot celebrate summer without koolaid concoctions of every color, and way too much sugar making your brain speed and collide with dreams of joy and days gone by.
Ekemini Uwan says
Michelle, WOW! Thank you for this beautiful trip down memory lane! Can it be that it was all so simple then? The world is much more complicated now, and the pace is out of control. Reading your comment caused me to slow down and reminisce. Thank you for this!
Ada Orie says
My dear sister, I am thankful for your voice. You have said what I have been feeling for awhile. My body has been telling me for months I need a soft black girl summer. God has shut me down a couple of times in the past few weeks to reassure me I can rest in him. We are tired of being tired as black women. We were also created in God’s image. You look stunning and glowing in your pictures. Thank you for showering us with your gifts once again. This piece was excellent.
Ekemini Uwan says
Thank you so much, sis! I thank God this article resonates with you. One thing about God: He knows how to get a message through. I hope you get the soft girl summer you so desperately need. God bless you!
Vanessa says
even our burnout is burned out~
i felt that in my soul
Ekemini Uwan says
I truly felt that as I wrote it! The pace of life is so unsustainable. May God grant you a soft girl summer, sis!
Vanessa says
want to comment on those fabulous pictures of the good Sis MDiv…
Ekemini Uwan says
Thank you, sis!! I felt so soft and free in beautiful Jamaica!
Roselane says
Love it what you have written sis and embracing soft girl summer. As a single mother of 3 I went to powerful exhibit last week and I had to encourage myself to go cause I have been doing for others..but God reminded me to do something for myself. This week I decided not to push past the exhaustion to add more and say I will do laundry another day. I guess what I am saying no and embracing what personally brings me joy is how I am doing Soft girl summer!
Ekemini Uwan says
Sis, it warms my heart to know that you are making time for yourself. I know this is hard for moms to do; I’ve heard that “mom guilt” is real. I love that you went to an exhibit. Art has a healing and calming effect on the mind and body. “No” is a complete sentence, and I’m glad you’re learning to use it more often. Have a glorious soft girl summer, sis!