There’s something about the summertime that brings out a childlike joy and exuberance in me. I can hear the ice cream truck and jump ropes scraping the pavement… Without a doubt, summer is my favorite season. After suffering through shoveling snow in the dead of winter and my allergies losing the “knuck if you buck” tussle to pollen every spring, summertime is my time to shine. No matter how increasingly hot it gets (due to climate change) you’ll never hear me complain about the heat.
A couple of years ago, Megan Thee Stallion gave us the summertime anthem, “Hot Girl Summer.” Now the sistas are calling for a Soft Black Girl Summer, and I’m here for it. Black women need a Soft Black Girl Summer where we experience ease, pleasure, travel, unbridled joy, and yes softness.
Black women are simultaneously seen and silenced; we are revolutionaries yet restricted; we are creators yet co-opted. We are treated as mules only to be marginalized and erased. As for the loads we carry, they are credited to another—to anyone, for that matter—so long as the Black woman is not acknowledged for doing the work others shirked. We are trusted to construct, saw, sand, and assemble the table but barred from taking a seat at the very table we built.
For over two years, we have been in the midst of a pandemic, misogynoir, racism, and mass shootings, all which continue unabated. Work seems more demanding now than it was pre-pandemic. We are burned out—at this point, even our burnout is burned out. We need a season of respite where we can locate, gather, and return home to ourselves, to each other, and get acquainted with these new versions of ourselves that have emerged in the pandemic.
We won’t have the mental and emotional stamina to continue to press on if we don’t take a season to just be. On my social media, I’ve seen the funny-yet-gentle warnings that go something like “don’t soft life your way into debt,” and with the way these student loans are set up, I felt that. I think our default is to believe that we have to break the bank in order to indulge in the soft life. But I don’t subscribe to a narrow definition of softness that is bound to materialism and capitalism.
As the adage says, “the best things in life are free.” With inflation on the rise, an impending recession, and these gas prices (Jesus, be a fuel rebate!), I believe in the budget-friendly Soft Black Girl Summer. It includes free summer festivals that celebrate the African diaspora, visiting museums to take in the beauty and art, nature walks to soak up all the vitamin D my melanated skin can handle (do wear your sunscreen, sis!), discovering a new hobby, or simply curling up with one of the many books I’ve been meaning to read since the beginning of the year. All these free or low-cost activities can be done solo or with friends.
For me, Soft Black Girl Summer looks like gathering with friends and/or family when the only agenda is to chill and ‘kiki’ with each other; it looks like saying “no” to plans and events that will interfere with my ability to carve out time to replenish myself. Undoubtedly, my Soft Black Girl Summer will look different from yours, and that’s a good thing because we are not a monolith.
All I know is, this movement is long overdue. We are certainly worthy of all the ease, enjoyment, and frolicking one Soft Black Girl Summer can contain.
Sis, what does your “Soft Black Girl Summer” look like?
Leave a Comment
Cherri says
Wow I love this and was just thinking to myself what is normalcy in my life? Does it exist? Why is it that I work so hard and while it is said to be appreciated it comes with criticism? I need a soft girl summer break for real. Entering into 2023 I told myself not to create a New Year’s resolution or a vision board but get closer to God and write down 4 goals that I wanted to accomplish (without) time constraints. I have done that and 1.5 of the goals completed. 1 thing I realized was that I did not say how I would treat myself for all the hard work done. Well no more, it’s time to celebrate everything I have put effort into doing, without boundaries! “Come thru soft girl summer”
QueenAN says
Come thru Soft Black Girl Summer!
Ekemini Uwan says
YASSS! Summer is my favorite season. Enjoy it!
Ekemini Uwan says
Yes, sis! Celebrate YOU! Happy Soft Black Girl Summer, sis!
Ashley Harrison says
Enjoyed this!! My soft black girls summer will consist of: the beach, massages, baths, wine, reading, writing and good food!!
Ekemini Uwan says
That’s my kind of summer! Thank you for reading my article.
QueenAN says
I so needed this refresher; however, as a fifty plus adult, I refer to my summers as “adulting season”. During this time, the focus is primarily me enjoying me [friends] with minimal costs or effort. My habitation demands proper care for my melanated skin, so I embrace this Soft Black Girl Summer with all its vibrancy and joy.
Ekemini Uwan says
I love that for you, sis! Take it all in and enjoy it all. Thank you for reading my article.
Elizabeth Whitehead says
I enjoyed reading your post. A Soft Summer sounds great! My Soft Summer looks like laying in my hammock, listening to sermons from my favorite, Bishop Noel Jones and others, journaling through my imaginations of what I want my life to be, 3-5 years from now. Buying or making props and decorate my yard and styling outfits for photo shoots from the many clothes in my wardrobe. Hosting sip and paints with my daughters and sisters. Laying by the poolside, listening to soft instrumental jazz music so I don’t try to sing alone. Just enjoy being Me!
Ekemini Uwan says
Thank you for reading my article and I hope you have a wonderful summer, sis!
Christie Cruise says
I love this! I am here for the soft Black girl life!
Ekemini Uwan says
Yes, sis! We deserve it!
Paula Shelton says
Yasss! My soft black girl summer will consist of trips to the beach, museums and relaxing in my back yard.
Ekemini Uwan says
I love that, sis! I hope you feel rejuvenated this summer.
Alicia says
Yassssss! Count me in, Sis! See you at the festival!
Ekemini Uwan says
Yasss! See you there, sis!
GwenDee says
My soft Black summer consists of: Working in my gardening, visiting family, hanging out with friends, quilting, reading a pile of books, walking, visiting museums, eating great meals and naps.
Ekemini Uwan says
Wow! Your soft Black girl summer sounds glorious, sis!! Get it!
J.P. Mitchell says
This is so beautiful. I love the realism and urgency in it. Thank you for penning it!
Ekemini Uwan says
Thank you very much for reading it. Blessings to you!
edith says
I really enjoy your writing. My soft Black summer consists of gardening, visiting family, hanging out with friends, massages, beach, walking, visiting museums, eating great meals and meditation.