About the Author

Dr. Estacy Colon Porter is a Garifuna-American Bronx native, Army Veteran, author and Nurse Practitioner. She is a wife and mother of four. She is the former editor in chief of Voices of Virtuous Veterans Magazine and former writer and managing editor of Your Voice Magazine.

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Reader Interactions


  1. I didn’t know where this was going at first. But I kept reading and found your authentic message to resonate with me. Your perspective was so telling. I too, share with friends that our vessel is empty some days and needs a kind word, a gentle hug, and a sincere prayer to help get it refilled.

  2. This was so beautiful and a necessary read.
    It made my Soul very happy. I love the reminder that everyone is not equipped to pour into you.
    Thank you for sharing 🩷

    Continue to stay AMAZING!

  3. This is Powerful!
    Thank you for sharing, continue your process because you’re worth it 💕
    God Bless

  4. What a powerful, right on time message. What resonates most is that everyone doesn’t have the capacity, oil and anointing to handle my good and bad. I thank God for the vessels he uses to speak to is.

  5. Totally me sis. Thanks for articulating what I have been doing for years. The Lord too has delivered me from people pleasing and has shown me I’m worthy to be poured into as well

  6. I remember someone pouring into me and that moment, I realize that all the times that pour into everyone else or people pleasing that someone wanted to pour into me. Not knowing I was running out but that person knew. This quote from your article resonates with me.

    “What is important to note, though, is that not every person you call a friend is equipped with the capacity, oil, and anointing to handle you in the good and the bad. I didn’t realize that until later. I found as I was going through the challenges, I was not pouring into myself consistently as I should have. I naturally care about others and their wellbeing and do what I can to ensure they are taken care of. But what I noticed was that I would pour into them (people pleasing) while neglecting myself. That my dear, is pouring poison unto thyself.”

  7. I so needed to hear this. I’ve spent my life giving, giving, giving! Listening to so many problems from friends and complete strangers. I felt like this must be my purpose, what God wanted me to do. But I realized I had to keep retreating just to renew. I was being drained emotionally and when I needed someone to listen, I was being preached to by those who felt that were spirtually more advanced. Or they promised to pray and later admitted that they forgot. Self-care has always seemed selfish to me. I heard so many times that you can’t help others if you don’t take care of yourself. Now at 70 years old, I feel like emotionally I am strong, but physically I’m breaking down because I didn’t take that advice. Now I pray that God will restore my health so that I can truly enjoy this life he’s blessed me with.

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