I grew up thinking that my father passed away when I was a baby. When filling out paperwork for school or at a doctor’s office, I would write “deceased” in the father section of the form. My mom never talked to me about my dad. She never said anything to me about him, ever. I did not even know his name. Around the time I was in junior high school, I asked my oldest sister (who knew a lot about our family history) if she knew about my father, what his name was, etc. She did not know but encouraged me to ask our mother about him. I was apprehensive at first because, after all, it was a sensitive subject. Shortly after that conversation with my sister, I developed enough courage to ask my mother about my dad. I asked her what his name was, how she met him, and what he looked like. She responded that he looked just like me, that he was tall, that she met him at the military base near where we lived, and she told me his first and last name. She didn’t know much else about him. She said she didn’t ask him any questions. Shortly after I was born, she said he left the military base near us in Virginia and was stationed at another location out of state. 

At the age of 15, I began searching for my father. I wrote to the Oprah Winfrey Show because in the late 80s, Oprah was reuniting lots of families and individuals who were searching for loved ones and so I thought if anyone could find my father, it would be Oprah! I received a postcard in the mail from Harpo Studios acknowledging my letter but nothing beyond that.  I continued my search in the early 90’s with the help of a book I purchased on how to find anyone, anywhere. I wrote to the Army Military Personnel Center with all the information that I had to provide, which was his name (spelled the way it sounded when my mother told me my father’s name – Eline Michael), my birthdate, and the name of the local military base where he was stationed at the time of my birth. I received a response back by mail indicating they were unable to identify a record of military service based on the information I provided. 

Many years passed but I never gave up on my desire to find my father. I yearned to know if, in fact, he was actually deceased or not. Could he still be alive? If so, does he know I exist? I had so many questions. Fast forward to 2018, when my husband encouraged me to register with 23 and Me to see if there may be a match. I felt it was a long shot but I submitted my 23 and Me kit. The immediate results did not reveal any close matches. I received periodic emails from 23 and Me indicating I had new DNA relatives available to view. I would log in to look sometimes, but most of the time I would ignore the emails, thinking that I would just be disappointed again.

In early 2021, I was talking with a close friend from high school about heritage. She was sharing her 23 and Me results and that pushed me to log back into my 23 and Me account to see if there was anything new. There was!

When I saw that I had a 7% match with someone, my heart dropped and I was filled with anticipation! I had matched with a person whose last name sounded like my father’s last name, although it was spelled differently than I had been spelling it in my search for him. I Googled the name using the spelling that I saw in my 23 and Me profile and my father’s name appeared in the search, along with an address and a phone number! I don’t think I have ever been that excited and nervous to make a phone call in my entire life. On my third attempt to call, I reached someone—my father’s wife—who answered affirmatively to all of the questions I asked her. She was so nice, so understanding, supportive, and just a pleasure to talk to. To learn that I finally found my father and that he is alive was the best day of my life, next to giving birth to my son. 

In August 2021, my family and I flew to Georgia so that I could meet my father in person.  In the midst of a pandemic, this was definitely a highlight for me during such a devastating time in the world. The week I spent with him, my step-mom, and my siblings, was nothing short of amazing. While it may be impossible to make up 53 years, I am enjoying sharing love with my father and my paternal family through many, many phone calls, FaceTime sessions, text messages, and the exchange of pictures and as many in-person visits as possible. What if I had given up? What if I did not remain faithful and steadfast? This experience has been a true testament to perseverance, patience, and faithfulness. Never give up on the desires of your heart. 

What are you looking for out there? Could you be close to finding it?