Soul, spirit, energy, vibes—all buzz words as of late. Our social media feeds are constantly littered with “Good ‘vibes’ only,” or “Boss Babe ‘energy’.” We hear these phrases at every turn, but what do they mean? I find they are essentially different iterations of one thing: the human soul. Soul is the essence of who we are and the framework that encases our human experience. Beneath our thoughts, emotions, societal programming and conditioning, lies our deepest truths and innermost being, or our souls.

Matters of the soul can be difficult to understand because they defy logic. We can’t prove them with calculations and scientific data. Matters of the soul cannot be seen with the human eye but can undoubtedly be felt by the human heart, and soul wounds cut deeper than the sharpest blade. If you are reading this, consider it a divine message to help heal the deepest cuts and wounds that you cannot see but can most definitely feel.

I remember experiencing a soul wound in the form of betrayal by someone whom I thought was a very close friend. I considered this person to be a sister. I supported her business, and she supported mine. I confided in her, and she confided in me. I was a blessing to her children; she was a blessing to mine. Unfortunately, I came to realize that this person was not my sister or my friend. She was in fact an enemy who did not seek to uplift and support me; she sought to destroy me. To say that my soul was deeply wounded by this revelation would be an understatement.

I spent countless sleepless nights trying to understand how someone I loved so dearly could hurt me so deeply. Somewhere in the midst of my heartache, God gave me the strength and grace to forgive and to be better, stronger, and that much more loving to the people who were genuinely in my corner. I used my heartache and disappointment as fuel to pour into more women. I used it to inspire and encourage more sisters in finding their purpose and living their dreams.

It took time, but eventually the positive connections in my life helped the pangs of that wound to soften and fade. I became that much more appreciative of the sisters who had been loyal to me. I learned to focus more on them than on the one sister who hurt me. Sis, are you putting more focus on the one who hurt you rather than the ones who love you?

When we experience soul wounds, our natural inclination is to protect ourselves and thus avoid whatever caused the wound. However, if we go through life avoiding pain, are we truly living or just avoiding? Do not shy away from what has hurt you, lean into it. Pain in any form is information. If you have a sore muscle, that is your body’s way of communicating that something is not right. The same applies to emotional pain. Feelings of sadness, fear or anger is our soul’s way of communicating to us. Lean into the pain by going within to find out why it’s there and what you need to do to release it and be free.

Throughout my years of working with women, I have heard time and time again “I don’t trust females”, “I don’t have female friendships”, etc. I can understand feeling that way after being hurt by a female friend or even a family member, but Sis—if this is you—you are letting the negativity win. You are robbing yourself of the opportunity to experience the beauty and love that comes from a solid sister friend.

When women support women, we can make magic happen. We can change the world. We can move mountains and impact nations! Don’t allow one disappointment to block your blessing. And don’t shy away from anything as a result of pain or fear. Lean into that pain and fear. Dig deep within to that wounded matter of your soul and find your healing. Find your joy. Find your purpose. The life that you dream of, the things that you desire, are on the other side of that fear. Will you crossover, Sis?