A few weeks ago, during a phone conversation, a close friend told me that I’ve changed. Most people take offense when someone points that out, but to me, it’s a compliment. The truth is we are supposed to change. Why would you ever want to remain the same?
My response to her statement was a resounding “Yes!”
Besides the fact that I was a widowed mom, what was it that changed? It wasn’t that my hair had grown out or that I had packed on those extra pounds. No, Alisha, the woman, has changed.
The phrase “bloom where you are planted” is a powerful reminder to make the most of our current situation. It means to thrive in the environment you find yourself in rather than waiting for the perfect moment. It’s about creating opportunities out of those difficult situations to bloom into the beautiful flower you were created to be.
As the church folks say, the seeds had been planted. Now, it was time for me to grow. It’s like all those tears I cried watered that seed planted years ago, and I’ve bloomed into the woman I was supposed to be.
Before my husband passed, I was an overthinker and always “played it safe.” I had to have every detail mapped out, and things just “had to make sense” to me. I worried about what others would think and didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. No more. Now that I have blossomed into this beautiful flower, I will do anything and everything to protect her.
She has boundaries.
I no longer engage in conversations about topics that make me uncomfortable, and I set limits on how much time I spend with certain people. Boundaries are essential, and they allow me to stay true to myself. I’ve learned that if someone has an issue with a boundary, then they probably need to have a boundary.
Understanding the power of boundaries to create healthy relationships and a sense of self-respect is important. Sometimes boundaries require cutting off someone entirely, and that’s okay.
She has self-love.
I don’t worry so much about what others think, and I am comfortable with making decisions based on my gut feeling. Having self-love means that I trust myself enough to know when to say “no”, even if it may make someone else uneasy or angry. No one can tell me what is right for me but me. I know myself best. It has given me a sense of self-love that I did not have before.
Self-love has allowed me to show myself compassion. I have always been nice to others but found it difficult to be kind to myself. This was NOT an overnight process. Being a widow for three years has allowed me to embrace every part of me—flaws and all. Once you have achieved that level of self-love, there is a greater appreciation for life’s simple pleasures and moments of joy.
She found her voice.
To find my voice, I had to learn how to express myself openly and honestly while still holding onto my personal values. As a widowed mom, I have become more confident and no longer worry about if I am “too much” for people. I speak my truth, even if it makes someone else uncomfortable. I am assertive and will stand up for myself and others when necessary. Being passionate about something doesn’t make me angry or difficult.
She gave herself permission to bloom.
To make room for growth and new experiences, I had to give myself permission to bloom. I decided to live on my terms, not according to the beliefs and wishes of others.
No matter where you are in your journey, don’t forget you can bloom. So, take a moment to reflect on what you need to grow. It may be setting boundaries, practicing self-love, or simply letting go of expectations. Whatever it is that helps you become the beautiful flower that you are meant to be, don’t hesitate to do it.
The seed has been planted. You already have everything within. Just bloom.
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