Being the only Black woman in the department of a conservative organization is a continuous battle. During meetings, I’d speak up for those afraid to do so due to fear of retaliation. Sometimes I’d sit through comments being made about predominantly minority communities. It had even gotten to a point when, if I asked anything, there would be mean remarks or the question got a response but not an answer.
So, when my pastor announced the title of his sermon, “It Had to Happen,” I knew God had a message for me. There was constant negativity within my workplace, and something had to be done about it.
The sermon was about the Apostle Paul surviving a shipwreck. He was falsely accused, imprisoned, and was on his way to Rome for trial. He warned the soldiers of a disaster, but it was ignored. When the ship reached a small island named Malta, everything you’d think would happen did happen. The storm split the vessel in half; Paul got a snake bite; they were in Malta for three months. Despite everything that was happening, Paul remained hopeful and trusted God. As a result, not a single person died from the shipwreck.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6
I love my job and, for the most part, my co-workers, but the micromanaging, criticizing, and being attacked over every mistake wasn’t what I’d signed up for. It felt like I was always playing defense without having a day off. Enough was enough. If I didn’t stand up to my reporting manager, things would only spiral downward. So, I did. The day I addressed the rude and inconsiderate behavior, there came more winds that I had to stand against. It had to happen.
My prayer over the situation was simple. In a nutshell, I asked God that I have a godly attitude and walk away with peace regardless of the outcome. I wasn’t going to worry about it, neither was I going to walk around on eggshells because I chose to defend myself.
Human resources requested a meeting to discuss the latest incident the following workday. Even though I was catching heat, the aggressive move didn’t surprise me. The night before the meeting, I heard in my spirit, “Write down every instance encountered, along with why they weren’t addressing anything earlier.” The first meeting was just between me and the HR manager. It went well.
A week later, the second meeting happened, and that was what I’d expected. The department head joined the discussion with both the HR manager, my supervisor, and myself. Between the time my supervisor was confronted and the meeting, there was very little interaction between us. As I explained my side of the story, I felt the uneasiness, irritation, and coldness in the atmosphere. Obviously, minds were already made up, and whatever I said would be discounted or ignored. Despite the deck being stacked against me, I stood my ground.
I’m sure it was expected of me to whine about being a Black woman in the workplace—to cuss, cry, and scream just to justify their thoughts. Sitting through the smug explanations being packaged as professionalism reminded me it’s a good thing I know who I am in Christ. If this were the younger me, looking for an Amen corner, not only would I have left the meeting feeling like less of a woman, but there would’ve been a great deal of guilt and a flood of “I’m sorry’s” to pacify insecurities and viewpoints that weren’t my problem.
In the past, I would’ve taken it all—hurt, upset, and being in my feelings—and carried it for years. The day that I decided not to stay mute was the day I established my boundaries. It was also the day I thought about other Black women in the workplace suffering from bullying and harassment just to keep their paychecks in rotation. I thought about the introverted Black woman who would like to give an honest opinion but is afraid her voice will be suppressed…
Even though there wasn’t any accountability on the other end, I had peace. The winds and storms reminded me that weapons will always be formed against me, but when I do the right thing and have the right attitude, they won’t prosper.
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Thank you so much for this article. I too experienced a similar situation in 2019 at an employer I was with for 12 years. A young, educated, black woman myself, I believe me questioning my superiors and speaking up for myself and others is what prompted my “lay off”. Nevertheless, I took it as a blessing in disguise because I was miserable there and it truly was affecting my spirit. So again, I thank you for sharing… you are not the only one and now I know I am not the only one!
We have to take a stand on things. Otherwise we lose our identity to something that’s not guaranteed. Thanks for sharing your story, and a peace of mind is priceless.
No weapon formed against me will prosper…Isaiah 54:17
Amen!
Kudos to the strength, integrity and spirit of another brave woman of color.
Thank You.
Thanks for writing about your experience. It’s helpful to hear about how you still had poise and peace……
Thank you, and glad you found it helpful. It’s hard to be composed in unfavorable situations, but it pays in the long-run.
I read your story but you left me hanging. What happened after the meeting? You said you walked away with peace but did anything change for you, were you treated any differently and did the harassment and mistreatment stop? Are you still working there? You see how many unanswered questions you left? Lol. I enjoyed reading your story and I’m glad you stood up for yourself. I hope you continue to prosper.
Hi Janice, there was more written before edits. I’m still at the company and things have gotten better. My speaking up actually changed the way staff meetings are conducted. Plus, employee surveys are sent weekly to address known/unknown issues. Glad you enjoyed the article, and thanks for the questions.
Your writing compelled me to comment. Thank you for women past, present, and future who have endured or will endure the tactics you have written. As one no longer encumbered by others’ expectations and nonsense and therefore their privilege to “act out”, I say hallelujah to you. May the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus along with countless other women who will come against the wiles of devilish approach.
Thank You. It’s an ongoing struggle, but a step forward is progress.
I’ve been where you were. It was hard and painful. I retired holding my head high. Yes no weapon formed will prosper but they will form.
Taking the high end is the way to go. Thanks you, and hope you’re enjoying retirement.
Just beautiful. So many of us have had to withstand these types of environments and behaviors. I applaud you for standing your ground with the knowledge that “no weapon formed against you shall prosper”. Thank you for sharing. While I am retired, I have a number of younger friends who are in the corporate workplace and I will share your post with them.
You’re welcome and yes, feel free to share. Navigating workplace situations is something that should be taught in job programs.
Excellence and confidence on one’s self comes from God above. Peace in your heart mind and soul is being at peace with God! You are very blessed Sister!
Thank you for the kind words!
I absolutely love this message! I commend you for standing up and establishing boundaries! I’m a Career Coach that infuses faith in my services so I appreciate this message even more because you value the applause of God rather than the applause of man. Keep Shining!
Crystal thanks for the feedback. Taking the Christian approach is viewed less popular, but God can do what we can’t.