About the Author

Dr. Alisha Reed is a licensed pharmacist and a widow mom who believes that self-care is non-negotiable. She is the creator of the lifestyle brand FLY with Alisha Reed, moderates a widow support group, and hosts The Fly Widow Podcast.

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Reader Interactions


  1. Thank you sister for this! I am recently widowed after 39 years of marriage. This article is right on time. It’s allowing me to view life with a different lens. Yes, I am grieving, however, through this grief I CAN learn the new me and become comfortable and strong in it. Thank you again and God bless!

  2. Thank you for your powerful words and confirmation. Empowering self worth is very important. I too enjoy taking myself out on a date, going to dinner and/or going to a movie or play. I haven’t mastered traveling alone yet, but I will some day.

    I’m learning to love me and live my best single life now and I know by doing this, I can purely love others.

    Stay true to you and know I am rooting for you. Life can be tough sometimes, but it’s how we handle the lemons we have been served. So, sister keep doing you! Use your lemons to make some good old fashion lemonade. Keep smiling and doing you girl.🌺😀

  3. This spoke so loudly to my heart and soul. This has been what I really of I wanted to tell family, friends, associates etc. I am on my Self-love journey for me, not being selfish just getting to know me.

  4. It’s been a while since I’ve taken myself on a date. I don’t mind shopping alone but eating and movies, is often a challenge. I love what you’re doing. I’m working on the same🙏🏽✨🩷

  5. Perfectly Stated! I am 70. I love my alone time. Even though I am married and have a wonderful group of friends. My time to reflect, recharge and relax has become increasingly important

  6. This is so true, and I tried to encourage some of my single friends to try it. I personally love and have always enjoyed my own company. It had allowed me to grow stronger throughout the years. Thank you for sharing this with the rest of those women’s who will now learn to redefine themselves.

    • Thank you for reading. I’ll be honest, it was tough at first because I thought it was weird. Now, I make my own plans and sometimes get mad when people want to join me! LOL

  7. I love this read. It reminds me that I’m OK. That I don’t have to worry about who is genuine and who’s not.
    I also am grieving the lost of my mother and don’t have to apologize for grieving.
    Time alone has allowed me to have a closer walk with Christ.

    Thank you for sharing

    Thank you for sharing

  8. Oh my! I could have written this. I am an introverted Healthcare professional who absolutely enjoys my own company. I am divorced and I immediately went on a journey of self reflection. The self-reflection allowed me to see that I was way too hard on myself. I was empathetic with everyone except me. I travel alone and I dine alone. I am ok with all of it. I enjoy my home and the solitude of it. I have a peaceful existence and I have discovered more about me than I could ever have imagined.

    I am not sad and I am not incomplete. God bless you my beautiful sister.

    • Oh my sister you get it! Self-reflection allows to embrace who you truly are and KNOW that you are whole without anyone else.

  9. Being alone has been my journey as well, since becoming a WIDOW Jan of 2019. Although I dont take myself on dates, I find joy in being by myself. Reading or listening to a book, snuggled up watching a good movie. However, after reading this, I will plan a date to that special place I have been waiting for my family to have time sharing a meal with me. I will purchase that Mivie ticket and have a theater night. Thank you, I will leap.

    • Hi Franciel, I have to admit that it was difficult at first. Then, I approached doing things alone as a way to really figure out WHO I was now, because I had changed.

  10. Spending time with me,myself, and I is a necessity for all women” Falling in love with yourself again” is my word to all my sisters every where. We spend so much time caring and watching over everyone else neglecting our needs all the time. Trust and believe it will change your life for the better

  11. Thank you. My husband walked out on our marriage 3 years ago and I have been on a self love journey since. I love me more today than yesterday and more tomorrow than today. I love my self time and this journey has allowed me to explore things that I never thought I’d try.

  12. I’m also widowed! First, my status is single, widowed when in a trust conversion! Sold my recent home after 16 years moved to new state! Reaching out to new digs, territory, new fun job and trying to selectively build new friendships! Not easy but I get you! I’m in my 70’s❤️🍷

  13. This is such a great reminder “to thine own self be true” and what better way than practicing self-love, care and compassion! I’m all for it!!

  14. I enjoy all of my “self-love” time when I’m alone. One of my favorite things to do is get up, get dressed, get cute, and go to breakfast. I take a book or my bible and let the wait-staff know that I plan to be there for a while. I also let them know that I won’t need them to continue to come and check on me (which would disturb my reading) but rather take a quick peek when they walk past me to see if I beckon for their attention. I tip with intention since I sat there for a while. You would be surprised to see how well you are remembered the next time you go to that particular restaurant.

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