I recently received an email at work inviting me to participate in a social media campaign celebrating National CROWN Day. The movement raises awareness about the CROWN Act, a law that prohibits discrimination based on hair texture and protective styles including braids, twists and locs—styles predominantly worn by Black women.
My hair is natural, meaning I don’t chemically relax it, but I do use a hot comb and flat iron. I did the “big chop” about 5 years ago, then cut it even shorter a few years later. Now, I’ve spent the last year trying to get it to grow again so I can have some type of hairstyle. If you know this process, you know I want to cut it all off again! Little did the CROWN Movement know that I was already planning to transition to get braids —a style I’ve never worn as an adult.
I’m a Black woman, so of course I’ve had a lot of hair home runs and complete misses in my life: weaves, clip-on extensions, single braids, ponytails, and wigs. I’ve tried anything to make the process of getting my hair camera-ready easier.
Imagine having bad hair days archived on national television. Viewers are not nice. People take time out of their day to write you and tell you what they don’t like. And this was before social media became our world. All of those comments were strictly phone calls and emails.
And it wasn’t just strangers. I started getting gray hair when I was a teenager. I’ve lived with it my entire adult life and as it goes, gray only keeps graying. I have to dye my hair every 3 weeks or sooner and, shortly after I arrived in Los Angeles, I was just tired of it. One day I decided that I was going to stop dying my hair for a while. This hair revolution just happened to align with the Grammy Awards.
I arrived on the red carpet in my cute sequin dress—and my gray hair. Guess what happened? My phone blew up because my producer in New York was on the line trying to reach me. She eventually asked if there was something I could do about my hair because it was too gray. I looked, dare she say, “older?” All while I’m on the red carpet at Staples Center! I always keep root touch up with me in my makeup bag so the issue had a quick resolution and I sprayed my roots. I was honestly a little nervous about how my hair would be received that night and felt kind of relieved to cover the gray. I was hoping taking a risk would pay off but I left annoyed that I folded to corporate demands. And just in case you’re wondering, I think you know that my producer wasn’t a sista.
I look back at that night and countless others and realize how many Black women in our generation and in the generations before me had to give up a piece of themselves to be palatable to a larger audience. It’s our on-going journey in corporate America. I always wonder if I am where I am today because of the “good” wigs, weaves, and relaxers I wore made everyone around me more comfortable. Who knows?
Today, I’m so happy to turn on my television and see Black and Brown women with curls, braids, afros, locs, and even bald (or close to it!) styles. Such freedom was unheard of as I was moving up in my career, but I’m encouraged by the way things are changing. So, now it’s my turn to jump in on the action. From now on, I’m leaving the root touch-up at home! How can you embrace who you are when it comes to your crown?
PS – I’m looking for any pointers from my ladies with braids. I can use them all!
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Leave the root touch-up at home, I have embraced my silver hair. My last relaxer was in December 2014 to attend my mama’s funeral, I decided I would not do it again. My last color was in February 2020. I wish you well Sis, the locs that God blessed us with are so beautiful.
Patricia, I’m almost there…still playing around with the color. Root touch-up does drive me wild! Our hair is indeed beautiful!
While I don’t have much gray (yet!), I can relate to your hair journey over the decades. Thanks for this authentic story this morning! I am inspired by you to get braids. You are rocking this look! So glad you are finally feeling free to fully do YOU, Sis!
Hi Alish! Thank you so much. A week in and I’m still adjusting. Go for it! That’s what I learned.
The gray will eventually win. 🤣
I quit the perm in 2010 after almost 40 years and proudly chopped off thick, shoulder length hair.
I LOVE IT !!!!!
Thank you JB! Stopping the relaxer was the best thing I ever did for my hair!
You arre a Queen and it truly SAD that a law had to be passed to make “Them” feel comfortable. Of course we know who we are and whose we are QUEENS AND OUR DAD IS A KING…
Carla, It’s really really sad. I put some folks in shock but GOOD!
You and your hair are beautiful regardless of what hairstyle you wear. I have been natural for the majority of my life. I am thankful that the U.S. has come into my world (smile). Blessings Sister!
Haha! Felisicia, I’m in your world now too! Blessings right back to ya.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are a beautiful and lovely person; and your braids rock, an excellent choice of color. Women of color have so many hair options today.
Thank you Brenda! We certainly do. I wish I has a full-time stylist following me around so I can change it even more frequently!
I sure wish Black women in Soaps and reality shows would grace their own hair whether natural or straightened, instead of these fake wigs. Everybody can tell they’re wigs. They will look SO MUCH BETTER with THEIR OWN hair. Most of those wigs (even though I’m sure they pay a lot of money for them, look horrible.
Eloise I hear ya! It’s so hard and one of the main issues is there are hardly any Black stylists working on tv and movie sets. I’ve encountered a handful and most were makeup artists, the others were hired because there were Black cast member who demanded it. I might have to write about that soon!
I love the braids and the color! As a newly bald woman, I can relate to all the phases you’ve been through with your hair! Menopause and alopecia had my hair falling out so I took control and shaved all off! It is too hot for the wigs and hair pieces so until the fall, it will be hats and wraps!
Wanda, that’s amazing! Bald heads are becoming a trend with the younger generations who just shave it off. Love that you took control!
Beautifuly story! I usually use these stories as opportunities for self-reflection. What I asked myself was, “What am I changing to fit in?” Thanks for this!
Thank you Cherice! It makes you really think about how we may not even notice what we’re doing to fit in.