About the Author

Dr. Alisha Reed is a licensed pharmacist and a widow mom who believes that self-care is non-negotiable. She is the creator of the lifestyle brand FLY with Alisha Reed, moderates a widow support group, and hosts The Fly Widow Podcast.

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Reader Interactions


  1. I get those questions ask the time sis but I love your response. I will tell those interested in my well being that I’m whole. Should a mate come along GREAT! If not, GREAT! Because a partner, though wonderful to have, does not complete me. He has to add to me my worth is mine already! 🙏🏾❤️

  2. Oh my goodness, how your words leaped into my soul. I read them after my morning prayer. It was like God answered the angst I was feeling for the guests soon to arrive in my home for Thanksgiving 2022. The questions, the side-eye, the vibes… You gave me the perfect response; I’m whole, complete, and perfectly ‘me’. TY for that!

  3. All my life I’ve struggled with my weight. Over the past few years I have put on a great deal of weight, as I am a stress eater. Right before the shut down my husband was diagnosed with Glioblastoma, which is a brain cancer. I cared for him at home during that time. He recently passed away. I would have loved to travel home to be around family, especially since this is my first Thanksgiving without him. However, I get so tired of hearing how much weight I’ve gained and if I lost weight I would be so beautiful. Well, I’m not in that head space this year, so I chose to spend the holiday alone. If people would just love on you and not criticize or voice every opinion, oh how much better the world would be. Everyone is not that strong and some people go their entire lives with complexes and insecurities behind a simple question. I really could have used the support this year.

    • My prayers go out to you. I had a brother in law who passed earlier this year from that cancer and a girlfriend who is deteriorating from that same aggressive cancer. People think you should just bounce back, it’s not that simple. My Irish twin my brother just passed 2 years ago, I’m still struggling. I’m going to tell you what he drilled in my brain months before passing. “YOU DO YOU” what anyone else thinks is NOT important.

  4. I love the way you ‘cleared’ that up. So often I see friends and relatives who post on social media how they’re looking for relationships or ‘that man’ who’s going to make them complete. Essentially, they’re devaluing their own self worth. Desperation is not attractive for anyone. Thank you

  5. This is a beautiful message! Thanks for sharing it. Too many sisters have the mistaken notion that they aren’t complete without a partner which often results in them entering into bad relationships. We must see ourselves as God’s masterpieces! He has created us in his own image. We must first accept ourselves before we try to connect to another human being. Allow God to lead us in the right direction through prayer & meditation. Be happy and find gratitude in each day!

  6. I really enjoyed the article. My family never asks me those questions ( even though I’m 57 and have never been married and have no children. Lately, I’ve been trying the dating scene but I’ve come to realize that it’s just too much work and at my age, I’m not willing to put that much into it. The article helped confirm what I’ve known for a long time…. I’m whole all by myself! I look forward to reading future articles.

  7. As I read this at 60 years old– I realize that I wasted. Good portion of my life thinking I wasn’t good enough…

    I didn’t begin to realize my Godly worth until the death of my Mother a little more than nine years ago– I am THRILLED that I have no problem looking anyone in the eye at Thanksgiving, Christmas or any other day of the week and proudly proclaiming: “I am not willing to give up the peace I have finally attained to be in an unhealthy relationship. If something (or someone) is for me–it will find it’s way to me. If it doesn’t I’m GOOD!”

  8. Sis… recognizing being whole IS a whole vibe! You have confirmed through Spirit that all is truly well and where we are is exactly where we need to be. I just wanted to tell you I love ALL you have decreed & declared and I find Life, incarnate in your very words of powRA. The Universe whispers your name with such pride.
    Remain the Magnum Opus you ARE!

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