Many would look at my journey and see the unfolding of something magical. But the truth is, losing sight of who we are can sometimes lead to discovering new aspects of ourselves or gaining a deeper understanding of our identity. Those discoveries were the missing parts of my story that remained untold for many years.
I have found that most people think the worst part about depression is not being where you desire to be in life or the feeling of failure. But the worst part about depression is that you feel invisible. Depression feels like you’re on an island all alone.
About eight years ago, this was the exact place that I found myself in: feeling alone and invisible. I was sitting on my living room floor on the verge of suicide. I was in desperate need of a way out physically, mentally, emotionally. I remember feeling like a complete failure. I felt overlooked, underappreciated, and like my voice had no place in this world. I felt like I didn’t belong. While I felt this way internally, I knew all the same that I had a gift within me.
That was the day that I prayed more than I ever prayed before. I prayed that if I got out of this dark and uncomfortable place that I would use my gifts to change the world. It took some time, but my prayers were answered that day. Little did I know that I would step into my power and become something greater than I could ever have imagined. I slowly started doing what I loved to do, which was empower! As my gifts began to unravel, I found that I was in pursuit of following my passions. Within 12-18 months, I grew a global brand, started sharing my story and began my own personal journey of healing all while helping others be empowered to do the same.
Life was suddenly amazing! I went from depressed to traveling the world, spending more time with my family and friends, and just living life limitlessly. I found that by removing limitations, everything I had ever wanted was on the other side of the fears that had been deeply embedded in my mind.
But then something interesting happened. I hit another dark place—a place I call the Void. It just didn’t make sense to me. There was an emptiness under my smile. Here I was, highly successful, making profitable connections, working with high-level celebrities, traveling, and living my best life…yet my soul still wasn’t fulfilled. I was outwardly successful but inwardly struggling. Struggling with my own identity and who I was showing up as.
I was discovering that there were parts of my life that I was truly unhappy in, like my marriage, some aspects of my business, and more. This led me to question if I was “good enough” as a mom, wife, CEO, and friend and resulted in me hanging out more, drinking more, and ultimately pretending I had everything together. I had completely lost myself and lost touch of why I even exist.
It was at that moment that I realized I have lived my entire life seeking validation for my accomplishments, but I never really thought about who I had become in the process.
This is just a snippet of some of my highs and lows, but please understand that discovering you come with highs and lows. My life is a testament of what’s possible when you step into the unknown and keep going despite the odds that are stacked against you. But during this expedition of life I realized that my story was my gift to the world.
Being in the Void was no different. There was a lesson, even in the midst of the challenges. I had to lose myself to find myself. I had to surrender and trust myself. To lean into who my soul came here to be—and not the validation I was seeking through my accomplishments.
Telling my authentic story was my first step to full healing. I had to become the woman I needed as a little girl. I had to die to who I thought I was supposed to be and embrace who my soul truly came to this human experience to be. Life gave me a story; my experiences gave me a voice.
Your story is unique and deeply personal. Losing oneself often involves a period of introspection, change, or perhaps encountering challenges that force a reevaluation of priorities and perspectives. Maybe you embarked on a path that seemed certain but felt empty, prompting you to step back and reassess. It could have been a transformative experience, like facing adversity, a significant life change, or exploring new environments that challenged your beliefs and values.
In that process of losing yourself, you might have shed old patterns, relationships, or ways of thinking that no longer served you. It could’ve been an emotional journey, confronting fears or doubts, and navigating through uncertainties to discover what truly resonates with your core being. And through this process, you might have stumbled upon unexpected passions, strengths, or a renewed sense of purpose. It’s in these moments of vulnerability and exploration that many find themselves—not just as a destination but as an ongoing journey of self-discovery and growth.
Where have you lost yourself? And what have you found there?
Leave a Comment
Velerie Sancho says
I can relate to this story. It’s exactly how I’ve been feeling, invisible to everyone. Thanks so much for sharing.
Patricia Johnson says
Like you, I’ve lost me while trying to be “everything for everyone.” Once I realized that it was humanly me and only me that could change my circumstances did I begin to climb out of the abyss that I had fallen into. I now live my life without restrictions, without limitations and with total purpose. Thank you for sharing because it helped me. Blessings
Christi Richardson says
Thank you for sharing your story! I love the mantra that losing, is gaining! So amazing!!! Congratulations on finding you and helping others to do the same:) I really enjoyed reading this!!