I was invited to speak on a panel for a Women’s Health event at a local hospital that I worked at while I was in college. Little did I know this invitation would become a full circle moment on my journey—a journey marked by surviving an abusive relationship in my twenties and finally realizing my self-worth.
When I was in college, I found myself in a toxic relationship that shattered my self-esteem and emotional well-being. The journey through abuse was challenging, and at times it felt like there was no way to escape. I would make it to my classes and work weekends at the local hospital as if nothing was going on in my life. In 2003, I graduated with honors and became a licensed pharmacist. No one knew what I was going through.
Five years later, I found the courage to break free from the chains of that abusive relationship. It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was a necessary one for my own survival. After I left, the emotional abuse continued from a distance, but it was during this period of self-discovery that I started to understand my true worth and value. And I finally chose myself.
Healing is a process, not a destination. I embarked on a journey that included seeking therapy and support from loved ones. With my faith and self-care, I started to mend the broken pieces of my spirit. I discovered my inner strength and resilience—qualities that had always been within me but were overshadowed by the trauma.
Yes, I knew that I was smart and independent, but I didn’t know that I was enough. Someone had made me believe that I wasn’t. I already had everything that I needed within myself; I just needed to realize it. I needed another woman to make sure that I knew it.
As I sat on that Women’s Health panel, I couldn’t help but realize that I had become the woman I needed in my 20s. Not only was I a current resident in this community, but I was also born and raised here. And the discussion focused on health information and self-care while also providing the women of New Orleans with the much-needed validation that they are seen, that they do matter.
After surviving—and now thriving—on my own journey, I felt a deep calling to advocate for others who might be experiencing similar struggles. I do not believe in mere coincidences. The invitation to speak on the Women’s Health panel was confirmation that my story, though painful, had the power to inspire and uplift others. I wanted other women to see that domestic violence can happen to anyone. I needed women to see what a domestic violence survivor looks like.
Life has a beautiful way of bringing us back to a familiar place so that we can see how much we have grown. When I was in college, I didn’t think that it could happen to me, and I didn’t know any other women who had been in similar situations. I was embarrassed and ashamed. Becoming the woman I needed in my 20s is not just about overcoming adversity; it’s about embracing my own strength, reclaiming my self-worth, and using my experience to empower others.
Life had indeed come full circle, and in that moment I realized that the shadows of the past had allowed me to become a shining light for those still finding their way out of the darkness.
How have you become the woman that you needed growing up?
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Cynthia Parms says
Absolutely power and uplifting you are indeed Sis! I know of someone who had experienced this type abuse all her young adult hood, whom I feel can gain from this experience, as I will share it with her. Some people are actually God sent through there experiences and meant to share their trials for this exact, reason. So I guess we should never have regret for sometimes unfortunate seasons. Thanks for your boldness in sharing and more over for letting God use you through your caring! Have wonderful day! May the Lord continue bless and send you, Blessings!! Cynthia