About the Author

Shynieka is a TV Personality Host seen on E!, TMZ, and Revolt and is a force to be reckoned with. Shynieka currently resides in LA and inspires everyone to unlock their fullest potential.

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Reader Interactions


  1. I continue daily to extend grace daily when I am unsure if its what I should be doing. I choose to love than to loose. Some mistakes were made years ago by family members that have eaten away at the fabric of our family and have spread beyond repair and we are all trapped in its darkness. Sincere words of apologies have been extended but not believed. I believe in second chances. I believe to live by grace and forgiveness is the only way to actually live life to its end and be happy.

  2. I enjoyed reading your commentary because it is exactly how I feel. What is going on now, I feel is a manipulation tactic by someone to get people to act the way they want them too without them giving anything in return. People are cutting others off, but what minor things have they done? What little flaw do they have in their personality? Do they want people to cut them off? Their name may be on several people’s cut off list.

  3. Love this Shy! It’s very easy to cut people off. True maturity is atleast trying to communicate with that person and seeing if you all could come to a level ground of forgiveness. Keep writing!

  4. I feel boundaries should be set in place from the beginning of any relationship and let it be known. This is what I’ll except and this is what I won’t and stand on it so when it’s time to be cut ppl off it’s not a major thing/surprise to anyone because they knew. You can forgive someone without having them in your space. Forgiveness comes from within so as long as I know I forgive you I could care less about your feeling cause IM at peace now go on and learn to act right.

  5. What a great article. I find it funny that people expect you to extend grace, BUT the moment you have a transgression against them, they want to cut you off, and without explanation. Such is my experience. I am one to give several chances to only be cut off without being given the same courtesy. I have always, always extended grace and forgiveness for it is my nature, however, when I make a mistake, it is the end of life as we know it. I used to chase friendships. I used to lose sleep if I knew I hurt someone’s feelings, especially unintentionally. But now? Sorry for your loss. I’m older. I’m wiser. I know who I am as a person and as a friend. I know what I bring to the table. I no longer need anyone to validate what God has already validated within me. I am attuned to my own worth and I am my own best friend.

  6. Some people can’t be redeemed. If they try to belittle or are always pointing out your shortcomings, they don’t value the person that you are. So are you going to be a whipping boy for their ego and pleasure. I think it isn’t worth you time and interest. Bye Gurl.

  7. Wow! This hit home! So many people are quick to write someone off because of a situation instead of go to them and communicate the issue face to face. It’s harder to deal with issues so folks tend to find it easier to just not speak on it and not speak to you ever again. It is ever so important in my eyes that anytime anyone has an issue to communicate and heal that issue whether you heal it meaning you talked about the situation and the relationship has ended on good terms or you healed it meaning you talked about the issue and are moving forward in your relationship. Communication is key and it’s lacking in this generation in my opinion.

  8. The article was fire! The only thing about cutting someone off is that sometimes they do come back as if it never happened at all. This is what I like to call “Selective Amnesia”. A lot of people forget the reason(s) why they were cut off in the first place. This is when a friendly reminder always wins. Lol, people will always be people. Extended grace is wonderful when it’s deserved.

  9. Grace is so easily expected but hard to give I was once told. I found that hard to believe. How can you expect something but not give it as easily as you take it? When we think of all the grace and mercy we receive daily without even deserving, it should be given without question.

    Soo many people lack communication skills and empathy and here is where the cut off culture is birthed. Hopefully it doesn’t take for one to have to experience life on the short end of the stick to humbles one’s self.

    What an awesome and inspirational read!

  10. Hey Lady Hornet,
    I have been granted grace so many times, even when I did not deserve it. That compassion that has been modeled to me by my employers, elders, peers and friends has been passed on to many others. I work at a school and my principal was doing a pd on clarifying expectations on discipline and school culture. She pointed out that many of us have come to her with needs and wants and she came to a resolution based on how she would want to be treated. The grace you may seek one day, is the grace you need to extend today. A few weeks later I had made a significant mistake, and she sat there, listened and extended me grace. No write up, big meeting or anything. Later on that same day it clicked that she was modeling and doing exactly what she wanted us to do for our students. While I do believe I am good at restorative practices with my students I take extra time to make sure there is grace in my response. This concept applies to my personal life. While I might say I am the queen of the cutoff, I extend grace up untill a point, then you will get that snip, snip but it takes a lot so if you have been cut off by me, then well…

    -Side Bar: Good Job

  11. Beautifully written and love all the comments because it’s true. We all fall short to grace of God therefore we should walk in love and forgiveness. We should show grace to others just like Christ has given us.

    Thank you for your inspirational words

  12. I just want to say, if people abuse your friendship and are not healthy but toxic. You forgive them but love them from a distance. God never wants us to be abuse or used.

    Thank you for your inspirational words

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