Is it just me or is this season of life giving “All My Life I Have to Fight” energy? I am feeling an extreme level of burnout for sure. Before I go any further with this article, I will provide a cultural lesson of this phrase because I need y’all to feel where I am coming from. If you are one of the ones who do not need an explanation, I am proud of you. For everyone else, what I mean by “All My Life I Have to Fight” I am side-eying you because this is one of those Black moments that if you identify with us, you should already know what doesn’t need to be explained. Normally I would revoke your Black card, but since I am practicing giving folks more grace and compassion because that’s what God wants me to do, you can keep it. Anyway, the phrase comes from the character Sophia played by Oprah Winfrey in the 1985 film The Color Purple directed by Steven Spielberg based on the novel written by Alice Walker. If you haven’t watched the film, I suggest you do. The scene I’m referencing was empowering yet triggering for many who have had to overcome the struggles and hardships we as Black people face daily. To be honest, I always felt like Sophia literally looked like what she was going through. At that time, it was indeed rough for African Americans, and those experiences were reflected in her face. For most of us, what we go through can’t be “seen” in the same way.
All this to say that from the gig rejections to the bills adding up by the millisecond living in LA, from being away from my family in NJ to having both platonic and romantic issues, I feel like I am in the trenches.
As a woman who is shaped and equipped to persevere, I am exhausted. I am super thankful I was raised to be a praying woman, but, y’all, even my prayers have suffered. Every day I have a time of Worship before I leave the house and start my day. However, just last week even my prayers were lackluster and had minimal effort behind them. I felt like God had to be so annoyed with me because I couldn’t even feel my conviction when talking to Him. Usually I am an ambitious, high-achieving woman, but in these trenches, I wanted to exist without expectations, disappointments, or goals. My prayers sounded like, “Dear God, I do not even care anymore to ask. Thanks for everything and let your will be done. Amen!” Then, I went on about my day. I immediately had to take a moment to myself because I just didn’t even feel like I wanted to fight for what my heart desired anymore. I didn’t know if not caring about the results was a good thing or a bad thing because, to be honest, I have never been so carefree. I just took it as a sign that God is on the battlefield, and He goes before me, and shrugged it off.
Then, it all clicked for me.
I was so used to having to prove my worthiness that it caused me to burn out. The mental strain that comes with fighting day in and day out is not healthy. What would it look like or even feel like to not put so much mental pressure and burden on myself? I have no idea because I am used to it, to be honest.
As Black Women, we come into this world proving and defending why we should exist, not realizing that existing as a Black woman is enough. Why are you fighting so hard when you have an advocate who wins your battles so effortlessly? Anything you do not receive from putting your best foot forward is simply because God has another plan for you. Stop trying to force and control what is not in your destiny. Sometimes what God wants to give us really requires the least amount of effort but we make it harder on ourselves by fighting for everything. You are burned out because you will not let God fight for you. I am not saying we should not do our part as Black women, but some of us have a complex that we have to do it all by ourselves. This is causing the burnout and if it goes unchecked that burnout will be passed down to the next generation.
Having job troubles? Give it to God. Having marital issues? Do your best and give it to God. Having financial hardship? Budget correctly and give the rest to God. God gave us the blueprint for the Promised Land, yet we want to still move like we are in the trenches. Black Women, we are not less than because we are trading in our fist for God’s armor, we are more powerful because of it.
What circumstance or issue will you give to God to help you out of the trenches?
Leave a Comment
Marvelous Mocha says
OMG! I needed this message. I hope you did not mind me sharing part of this message in my Facebook page. I have you all credit. This message resonated so much with me. Thank you for the message. God bless you!
Marvelous Mocha says
OMG! I needed this message. I hope you did not mind me sharing part of this message in my Facebook page. I gave you all credit. This message resonated so much with me. Thank you for the message. God bless you!
Tekia says
Your words are so inspiring and this message is truly on time. This season has been brutal and it’s been hard to accept that God may have something different for me than what I planned for myself. Rejection after rejection have cause me to step back and truly hand my struggles to God because I’m clearly trying to knock down the wrong doors. Or the timing is not right, since His is different than ours. Thank you for putting into words what many of us are going through!
Stephanie Williams says
If I didn’t know any better, I would say you took the words for this article from my own thoughts and struggles. It’s uncanny! My young sister, I thank you. Thank you for the validation, the clarity, the “You’re not crazy” exaltation that I can scream softly. Thank you for giving me the permission to remove the boxing gloves and let God do HIM. Blessings to you.
Tina Tyree says
You better preach up in here on the 4th of July. Just this morning, I got up and went to the gym even though I could’ve slept in because it’s a holiday. It was a struggle. It was a fight, but I know I need to move my body to be healthy. Afterwards, I grabbed a bite to eat with a friend Who helps me be accountable for a healthy lifestyle. We do that for each other thank God for friends, right?! But I am mentally and emotionally exhausted just completely burned out from everything yet nothing. It sounds so crazy because I cannot exactly pinpoint it. There’s a myriad of things, but none of them elevate to the point of catastrophe absolutely nothing but yet here I am so thanks for this article. It was very encouraging and I appreciate eight it very much. I typically don’t read them, but I’m glad I did today. God bless you, sister. Have a wonderful day .
Connie says
Thank YOU for sharing your heart and soul with us. Feeling every bit of this word!
Francine Pierson says
“Sometimes what God wants to give us really requires the least amount of effort but we make it harder on ourselves by fighting for everything.” Great statement. Thanks for sharing. All the best to you on your freedom journey.
Jazzman says
This article spoke to me. I’m in a season where God put me on notice as “Summer Break”. From being terminated/layoff from my job, finances cut in half to really sitting with God to understand where He is directing me in this season. I need to find the next ladder in this trenches so I can climb out and really trust God and be patient in the rest season.
Geraldine "Gerrie" Walker says
I loved this article. I agree that we, as Blacks or if we identify as African Americans, still have to fight each and every day. And sometimes, you best believe I am tired of fighting for everything. I am so tired of fighting, so what I do is sometimes I have to put it on the altar. I have to release it to that higher power that I know can take care of all things, which means my stuff. I love relying on God and knowing when to be discerning and listen to that still, small voice that provides me with that added clarity. I am grateful for God in my life. Blessings, Gerrie
Siobhan Davenport says
Thank you, my sister, for authentically sharing your journey and your struggles. I’m in a long season of waiting and am learning to leave it on the alter. I have done everything I know to do, now it’s God’s turn. I’m learning to trust God and His perfect timing. During this time, I’ve discovered that the lesson is in how I wait because I know God will bring it to pass in His perfect timing. Be blessed, my sister!
Andrea says
Thank you so much for this awe-inspiring message. It resonates deep within the sanctified soul. Thank you for the space to breathe through the human aspect and the clear redirection to understand this is a spiritual experience and that the battle is not ours. This was validation and confirmation and I thank God for giving you the message to impart to us, as you can see, it is much needed.
BIGFOOT says
EVERY SINGLE TIME I READ SOMETHING YOU WRITE I LEARN FROM IT💯.I’M NOT A FEMALE BUT I AM YO STUDENT. THIS IS SO DEEP AND I UNDERSTAND YO FEELINGS, I HERE FOR YOU AND I PRAY FOR YOUR HEARTS DESIRES TO COME TRUE NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE 💯. I DON’T KNOW YOU BUT LIKE GOD I HAVE YOUR BACK, GOD BLESS THOSE WHO DOES GODS WILL U CAN EMAIL ME ANYTIME IF U NEED HELP BECAUSE WHEN I HEAR YOU I HEAR LOVE ❤️
Vanessa B Chalk says
Your words resonate with me because I too feel like I have been fighting “all my life…”. In actuality, what I have been fighting for is someone else’s vision of what I should be (society, family, anyone but me). Now, at the age of 63, I am faced with searching my heart, mind, and spirit with God leading the way, to uncover my heat’s desire and pursue it.