Is it just me or is this season of life giving “All My Life I Have to Fight” energy? I am feeling an extreme level of burnout for sure. Before I go any further with this article, I will provide a cultural lesson of this phrase because I need y’all to feel where I am coming from. If you are one of the ones who do not need an explanation, I am proud of you. For everyone else, what I mean by “All My Life I Have to Fight” I am side-eying you because this is one of those Black moments that if you identify with us, you should already know what doesn’t need to be explained. Normally I would revoke your Black card, but since I am practicing giving folks more grace and compassion because that’s what God wants me to do, you can keep it. Anyway, the phrase comes from the character Sophia played by Oprah Winfrey in the 1985 film The Color Purple directed by Steven Spielberg based on the novel written by Alice Walker. If you haven’t watched the film, I suggest you do. The scene I’m referencing was empowering yet triggering for many who have had to overcome the struggles and hardships we as Black people face daily. To be honest, I always felt like Sophia literally looked like what she was going through. At that time, it was indeed rough for African Americans, and those experiences were reflected in her face. For most of us, what we go through can’t be “seen” in the same way.

All this to say that from the gig rejections to the bills adding up by the millisecond living in LA, from being away from my family in NJ to having both platonic and romantic issues, I feel like I am in the trenches.

As a woman who is shaped and equipped to persevere, I am exhausted. I am super thankful I was raised to be a praying woman, but, y’all, even my prayers have suffered. Every day I have a time of Worship before I leave the house and start my day. However, just last week even my prayers were lackluster and had minimal effort behind them. I felt like God had to be so annoyed with me because I couldn’t even feel my conviction when talking to Him. Usually I am an ambitious, high-achieving woman, but in these trenches, I wanted to exist without expectations, disappointments, or goals. My prayers sounded like, “Dear God, I do not even care anymore to ask. Thanks for everything and let your will be done. Amen!” Then, I went on about my day. I immediately had to take a moment to myself because I just didn’t even feel like I wanted to fight for what my heart desired anymore. I didn’t know if not caring about the results was a good thing or a bad thing because, to be honest, I have never been so carefree. I just took it as a sign that God is on the battlefield, and He goes before me, and shrugged it off.

Then, it all clicked for me.

I was so used to having to prove my worthiness that it caused me to burn out. The mental strain that comes with fighting day in and day out is not healthy. What would it look like or even feel like to not put so much mental pressure and burden on myself? I have no idea because I am used to it, to be honest.

As Black Women, we come into this world proving and defending why we should exist, not realizing that existing as a Black woman is enough. Why are you fighting so hard when you have an advocate who wins your battles so effortlessly? Anything you do not receive from putting your best foot forward is simply because God has another plan for you. Stop trying to force and control what is not in your destiny. Sometimes what God wants to give us really requires the least amount of effort but we make it harder on ourselves by fighting for everything. You are burned out because you will not let God fight for you. I am not saying we should not do our part as Black women, but some of us have a complex that we have to do it all by ourselves. This is causing the burnout and if it goes unchecked that burnout will be passed down to the next generation.

Having job troubles? Give it to God. Having marital issues? Do your best and give it to God. Having financial hardship? Budget correctly and give the rest to God. God gave us the blueprint for the Promised Land, yet we want to still move like we are in the trenches. Black Women, we are not less than because we are trading in our fist for God’s armor, we are more powerful because of it.

What circumstance or issue will you give to God to help you out of the trenches?