Have you ever randomly said to yourself, ‘I need some new friends?’ More than likely, you have—and mostly likely, you do. Fortunately, as humans we have a unique way of knowing when we have outgrown people, places, and things. As hard as it may be to do, letting go is a part of self-love and leveling up. More importantly, it is an intricate part of growth and development. Sometimes we must be forced out of situations we would never leave if we had to do it on our own. But why are we like that?
What cripples our ability to end friendships that no longer serve us? Wanting to go to the next level shouldn’t make anyone who truly cares about our well-being feel slighted in any way. There’s a time in everyone’s life when self-reflection and a purpose audit must take place.
Years ago, I had a deep desire for more out of life. Unsure of where to start, I started with my surroundings. So, the first thing I decided to do was review my friend group. This required an immediate contact clean-up, and honestly, it was the hardest part. During this process of elimination, I discovered something that blew my mind: I learned that I had a lot of homegirls and no goalfriends. Talk about a reality check! This was one.
By definition, a homegirl is a cool best friend you can hang out and have fun with. By contrast, a goalfriend is an accountability partner you can create and achieve goals with. No shade, but I wanted to level up, and who I was hanging with was not in alignment with where I wanted to be, period. I needed to change my surroundings for the betterment of myself, and I unapologetically did just that. For me that meant planning instead of partying, studying instead of shopping, and getting out of my comfort zone instead of being complacent.
Though the days seemed long and far from fun, I grew closer to my purpose. For the first time in forever I was obedient in letting go of friendships that no longer served me. A heavy weight was lifted. A few feathers were ruffled, but I didn’t care. Finally, I was putting ME first.
Through networking, I gathered a host of goalfriends who I now hold near and dear to my heart. Our conversations are purposeful and intentional. We often help each other attain goals while tracking each other’s progress along the journey. We don’t just text or post praying hands in each other’s comments, we keep each other lifted in prayer. Above all, we keep God at the center of everything we do in life and business.
As a wife, mother, and multifaceted entrepreneur, I have learned that having a group of goalfriends in my corner has contributed significantly to my ability to stay focused and successful. Although it is important to be your own cheerleader, it feels good to have genuine women in your corner cheering you on to be your best self—especially during times when you don’t have the courage to clap for yourself.
The old saying ‘you are the company you keep’ holds true. Good company and wise counsel increases chances of success and a promising future. Every girl needs a goalfriend who holds her accountable real bad. Intentional friendships should always elevate, inspire, and keep you in alignment with your purpose. Any friend who helps you become your best self and to live abundantly, as God promised, is a goalfriend.
Take a moment to think about who is in your corner. Do you have homegirls or goalfriends?
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That is simply why at
this time it’s me, myself and the Lord. He’s all the accountability I need.
That’s a word, Laquietta!
This hit the nail on the head!!!
Thank you, Chanda! I’m happy to hear this article resonated with you.
Yes Sis, yes! I now feel convicted to evaluate my personal rolodex of friends. Leveling up! Thank you for that message. I want to be the goalfriend I seek to have.
You’re welcome, Sherice! Let me know how that evaluation goes. Purposeful, meaningful contacts, only:)
Great article Danielle!
Thank you, Mimi!
Danielle, you have nailed this article. It truly resonates with where I am currently in my life’s journey. I have tried to keep people around that could never be happy for me in my new levels in life. I am so Thankful to Jehovah for giving me the spirit of discernment, obedience, and willpower to the revelation of what HE has shown me about some people that I have released from being in my circle. I embrace my new goalfriends and the space I am in. Thank you for writing and sharing your wisdom. Blessings to You!
Shon, thank you so much for taking time to express how this article has resonated with you. Letting go is the first step to leveling up and getting in alignment with what Jehovah sees fit for us. Congratulations on putting yourself first and doing the work required to fulfill your true purpose.
The first time I said this to myself, I felt prideful. I have friends who truly enjoy my company but the feeling is not mutual. I sow into their lives and they tend to glean alot from mine. However, the feeling was not mutual. In fact some of the friendships were draining. I slowly drifted away and stopped communicating. In all honesty it was a burden lifted.
To witness your evolution has been nothing short of amazing! I’ve struggled with leveling up at times and differentiating between buddies and goal friends is essentially necessary to over all growth. Thank you for sharing your infectious light,love,and literature with the 🌎
Tim, thank you so much for your kind words. I’m happy to hear that you’re doing the work required to level up and be your best self. Keep going, goalfriend:)
Yes, Evalyne! Terminating friendships that no longer serve or align is a heavy load lifted.
I absolutely love this article and I can relate! Letting go of those people, places and thing they doesn’t serve your higher purpose can be painful but also rewarding. I am truly grateful for the goalfriends that I have been blessed with and I look forward to making more! Thank you for sharing this!
Wow, Tonita! You’re spot on. Keep leveling up and surrounding yourself with intentional friends who want to see you succeed. Thank you for your unwavering love and support.
Certainly this have inspired me to challenge myself to open up to new friends, new ideas, I’m inspired. I’m very excited.
Thank you, Feleicia! Immensely grateful for your feedback and happy to hear you were inspired.
This is so inspirational. God bless you.
Thank you, Kayla! Delighted to hear you were inspired. Keep shining your light and leveling up!
I love it! Yes!! Every woman needs a solid click of GOAL FRIENDS! It’s definitely much needed! Great article!
Thank you, Leitita!
As a person moves in the stages of life we all need to regroup our group if you are seeking higher stars having Goalfriends to Level Up with will Push you to the Goal you are trying to achieve. Goalfriends Level Up With A Sole Sista!
You’re absolutely right! Thank you for your feedback, Gladys.
This article is so true and what helps women know they can be successful and it doesn’t have to be lonely at the top.
I love that, Raushawna! Thank you for your feedback goalfriend:)
This message was needed and right on time! I have a mixture of both but lately I’ve been telling myself how unfocus I am and I know it has something to do with the type of company i entertaining the most. When I’m around my goalfriends I feel so motivated and feel there’s no limit to life. When I’m with my homegirls, I feel comfortable and that’s definitely not what I want.
Thank you! This was the sign that I needed! ❤️
Hi, Shamaria. I’m so glad this article was able to help you identify the changes you need to make. Best wishes to you on your continuous journey of leveling up.
As always Goalfriend!! You said a word! Great Read 👏🏽
Thank you, Shanequa!
Yess I truly can relate as I’ve had the experience to have both, homegirls and goalfriends. However, as my mindset changed, I felt the need to change my space as well. As I’ve went through countless experiences and still going through them I can honestly say my goalfriends are the best thing I’ve experienced. We can be brutally honest but yet respectful in delivery. I can still be myself around them as they can do the same! I welcome new goalfriends in our circle of accountability! Cheers to goalfriends! 🥂 Congratulations to my goalfriend for this amazing achievement and for simply being the goalfriend everyone deserves and needs!
Omg, Toya! You have moved me to tears with this one. Thank you:)
This is so inspiring. And really makes you think not only who are your Goalfriends but am I someone’s Goalfriend and if not how can I be!!
Thank you for making me think and make me want to be a Goalfriend
Thank you, Sonji! Your sweet comment confirms the intention of this article. I’m so glad you were inspired.
This is really true. However might not be true for women in the late 60s and early seventies who have lost many of their friends along the road but definitely need friends to keep going to the end of the road. How do we survive this lonely period of our lives? Anyone please?
I believe I am everyone’s goal friend but I don’t think I have any in my corner. Makes me sad when I realize that the friends I think I have are actually jealous of me!