“Bae, you got your first bad review!” my husband yelled from the kitchen.
My heart raced. I’d been looking forward to this.
I don’t know if I am a glutton for punishment or a sucker for conflict, but I just wanted to hear something more than positive things about the book.
I whipped out my phone and scrolled. While part of me looked forward to reading what this person had shared, the other part of me was completely terrified at what I would possibly experience as I absorbed (or attempted not to absorb) the thoughts they’d shared on my personal work. I began to read…
According to this reviewer, there wasn’t a thing in the book that they “couldn’t Google.” They explained that they were giving it two stars instead of one because there were a “couple of positive things” that they’d found interesting, but overall—to them—it was practically a waste. Ouch.
In that moment, insecure,12-year-old Kennesha rose to the surface. All the feelings of not being enough began to crowd my thoughts when just moments before I had been completely confident. Now, along with my heart, my mind raced into the deep, dark spaces of traumas and pains past—the words and actions, both spoken and unspoken. Even more, the voice of the accuser quickly became the overwhelming voice in my head, and then came the words that pierced my soul: “You are still a failure.”
It’s an interesting phenomenon. When everything feels right and good and perfect, it seems that is the time that the enemy of our souls attempts to sneak in and pull the rug out from underneath us. It seems that is the time that he will do everything in his power to steal whatever truth we are holding onto and whatever joy we may have found. That was certainly the case for me in this moment. I began to see it almost as quickly as it was happening.
But then I heard another voice: “You ain’t for everybody, and everybody ain’t for you.”
Those words seemed to slip off my grandmother’s lips so freely most days as the younger version of me struggled to navigate through life and relationships—sometimes practically begging those around me to see me, know me, and love me for me. Her words echoed in my head almost in unison with this scriptural reminder from the Holy Spirit. John 10:10 speaks of Satan’s attempt, since the beginning of time, to take things that don’t belong to him:
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full. (NIV)
On that day they seemed to work in tandem, both the voice of my grandmother reminding me that I’m not for everyone and the voice of God reminding me that there is an enemy who comes for only one reason, to destroy.
I began to speak truth to myself: “I am not for everyone, and neither is this book,” I whispered.
I repeated this phrase several times. Deeper breaths followed as I felt the nudge of the Holy Spirit asking me to sit in these feelings a little longer. His truths flooded in: The thief attempts to steal, but I have come to give. I have come to give.
Those words ushered in a moment of freedom for me. I recognized the conflict I felt could not be from God because it was not giving what He so graciously gives: freedom, peace, and abundance. This was indeed the thief doing what he does, and not only was he attempting to steal my moment of celebratory joy, he was attempting to reconnect me to my needs of the past. He would have it no other way than to keep me bound to the lies I believed and identified with for far too long.
Here is what I know now and will continue to fight for in truth: I am not for everyone, and neither are you. Though the voice of the accuser may swoop in and attempt to steal every ounce of calling we may have, his attempts will turn to naught. They are futile and weak when met with the truth of the voice of our Creator. This isn’t my truth alone to hold—it’s for you, too.
On that day, the Creator used the familiar voice of my grandmother to usher in His own. I know that in whatever form His voice may take, one thing will remain true: You may not be for everyone, but He is always for you.
How have you overcome the voices that attempt to overshadow the good in your life?
Jordan Bremond says
Powerful words. Thank you. I needed this.
Kennesha Buycks (she/her) says
Thank you so much for taking the time to read! xo
Katrina Gray-Parker says
I stumbled across this article at 5am this morning. Thank God for inspiring you to print it.
Kennesha Buycks (she/her) says
Thank you for reading and I am so thankful it helped you when you most needed it.
DJ. says
I love this site.
Thank you for all your encouraging
Cards. They are beautiful
Kennesha Buycks (she/her) says
Thank you, DJ!
Vivian says
This was right on time. I have written my first book as God has instructed me to do. I sent to publishers that l know personally because l believe that who God has guided me to. I haven’t heard anything yet but remain positive.
Even though some might give a negative perspective of what l have written the one thing that doesn’t change is that GOD told me to write it and that is where l find PEACE.
Kennesha Buycks (she/her) says
You are not wrong to believe that and to keep moving forward! Surely your reward is the peace but believing for more with you! Thanks for reading! xo
Eva Collins says
Your stories ain’t for everybody, but they are for somebody! Keep telling your story
Kennesha Buycks (she/her) says
Thanks, Eva!
S.Hinton says
I enjoyed reading this article, however, also didn’t. But the words caught my attention.
I’m so glad. I Thoroughly enjoyed this article thank you. Powerful, Spiritual and educational…
Kennesha Buycks (she/her) says
Thanks for reading!
K M says
Beautifully said these words resonated with me as well. I enjoyed the read greatly. And as I face my own fears, it will help me to remember
“I’am not for everyone “
Thanks for sharing your story
Kennesha Buycks (she/her) says
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and for the encouragement!
Giselle Galper says
I keep a record of my small accomplishments and shoutouts. I reflect on them. I curate them. I focus on my mission and motivation. That’s why I’m building chea seed. We want to build people up. I love this board. It’s inspirational. Thank you.
Kennesha Buycks (she/her) says
I love this idea Giselle! YOU are inspirational! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
Cathy says
This is the truth even at 71 Silver Fox years, I ain’t everybody’s cup of tea, and the is alright with. me. Cause I’m my own cup of tea
Kennesha Buycks (she/her) says
Okay 71! I hear you! And you’ve got that right! So glad my story resonated with you. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!
Gloria Henderson says
Three children who are the jewels in my crown. The eldest is my heart, I had her when I fell in love and married. The middle child, the boy who wanted to know who was God?, is my soul. The last and youngest a woman who is my intellect who gives me the wise counsel when I am thinking of speaking from my heart alone or from the soul, the God in me, she reminds me to to speak from my head also. Her quote, ” You can’t make everyone happy at the same time.” and God knows I tried.
Acceptance is the key. Accepting myself as I am and accepting others as they are and not how I would like them to be. It is not always, I would do it like this or that, or if it were me.
I am over 28 if you get my drift. However when I was in my twenties, I knew everything. No I was never going to change my opinionated self; self righteous, judgmental, and know it all attitude. After decades of hearing, just listen, just listen. I am here to say I have learned a thing or two. Many have contributed to those messages of faith, hope and charity along with never ending love and prayers. I thank them all and pray I continue to grow humble and learn to serve more than I receive.
Kennesha Buycks (she/her) says
Amen! Thanks for sharing your story and for taking the time to engage with mine. xo
PaMela says
Well said.
We are not for everyone and everyone is not for us is so so true.
However, I always remind myself that “I Am Enough” that’s my reality check
whenever I let doubt creep in. This is my Motto “I Am Enough” in order to
reclaim my Power.
Kennesha Buycks (she/her) says
“I am enough” is part two! Haha! I love that. Something I am continually leaning into even as I age. Thanks so much for takingt he time to read and share your thoughts.
Regina Clark says
That is so beautifully written…and so true. What’s for you will be for you, even if it isn’t for everyone else. Keep writing.
Kennesha Buycks (she/her) says
Thank you! And thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. Really appreciate your encouragement!
KaDai Craig says
Powerful writing. Thank you for soul truth.
Kennesha Buycks (she/her) says
Thank you! xo
Catherine Connor says
Keep moving forward one day @ a time…
Kennesha Buycks (she/her) says
That’s all we can do, right? Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts here.