I used to look around at what everyone else had and wondered why I did not have what they had. I mean we were at the same stage in life, right? We were all in pharmacy school together and had grueling schedules that only allowed us to maintain part time jobs in local pharmacies. This meant that we worked nights and weekends. None of us had rich parents or a full ride for college. We had loans and grants and even work study to help to pay the bills. If we were all the same, how was it that certain people had what seemed like everything while I had nothing that I desired at the time?

I had to pay out of state fees and lived in a studio apartment and had to deal with neighbors that did not care that I had to study or a full day of classes the next day that required an early morning start. The walls were thin and they were very disruptive. It was all that I could afford at the time and it was close to campus so I endured. Some of my other classmates could not relate as they had better apartments or even lived at home. I bought my first car off of the side of the road from a small, shady used car lot. I paid at the lot and had to deal with all of the shenanigans of a greedy used car salesman. I watched my classmates drive around in luxury vehicles and don designer clothes and purses and I scoffed at that fact.

I was raised in the church so I believed in God and prayed every day. I felt like I was a good person because I cared about people, helped those that were less fortunate, and volunteered at church and in the community.  I had a church home but I did not attend often during school as a result of my work schedule or just being too tired to get up on Sunday morning. That also meant that I did not read or study the Bible as much as I should have. Along with that lack of education included my level of faith. It was very low. It caused me to question God and wonder why I was being left out of receiving some of these blessings. I was confused and maybe even a little angry.

We were nearing graduation (after 4 long years) and I started to go to church a little more. I will admit that I fell asleep a lot during the sermons but I made an effort. I felt better about my life and began to understand a little more about how God worked. I continued to pray and worried less about what others had and what I didn’t have.

During this time it was almost as if I could see clearly the things around me and realized that my classmates’ lives weren’t as rosy as I once imagined.  Some of my classmates even revealed some facts about their situations and I thanked God that I was not in their shoes.

When I graduated, I had minimal debt from unnecessary objects. I was able to purchase a home with no money down as a result of good credit and low debt to income ratio and I was able to finally pick out the car of my dreams. I had money available to assist my family members with various needs and began to build up my savings.

When my life was clearly revealed to me in comparison to my classmates, I thanked God again and again and apologized for my behavior. My faith was increasing and I learned to trust God. I began to tithe and started sharing my story and teaching others about the obedience of faith.

The lesson I learned was that everything I had and didn’t have was a blessing from God. A wise person expressed to me that I did not know what my classmates had to do to get what they got, the debt they amassed, or the indecent deals they may have had to make. That person was right!  The valuable lesson I learned was to be patient and trust that what God had for me was for me.

What are you patiently trusting God for?