Growing up, I was a bit of an overachiever. My teachers branded me a life-long learner and I sort of took it to heart. School came naturally to me—I liked and welcomed the structure. I loved knowing what the next several months of my life would look like and that I was advancing in some ways, too: educationally, personally, emotionally. It was forward momentum in a controlled environment, and I lived for it.
When I got to college, I was really in my element academically. I loved the flexibility within the structure because it felt like the best of both worlds: I was more independent, but the next few years of my life weren’t a big question mark; I had a goal to meet and a path to meet it. So, it hit me hard when college ended and left me teetering on the end of post-grad life. I was brave for a whole year on the outside before I decided to head to grad school.
While I did wonder if I was returning to my comfort zone (and in some ways I was), it was ultimately a great decision. What was more, I knew what to expect for at least the next two years of my life. I was back in my happy place of taking interesting classes on cool subjects with like-minded people, and I was thriving. Of course, what turned into two and a half years went by pretty quickly and grad school ended as well. I’ve been on the “outside” now for four years, and though I’ve lost the comforting structure that school brings, its influence isn’t gone completely.
That regimented time is now ingrained in me, and even though I love the flexibility of my current post-grad freelancer life, I still live by the rhythms that formal education taught me. So, as the summer wanes and the fall approaches, I find myself looking forward to the second new year.
Of course, it isn’t the same. Nothing quite matches the start of a new school year where you’re faced with new things to learn and do, new people to meet and friends to make, and new experiences in an environment specially cultivated for all these things to happen relatively smoothly. I’ve lost the safety net of having a strong idea about what the next year of my life is going to look like. There are more question marks than there used to be, but there’s still something of a reset in the air and, if I can be honest, I need it. Every year I need it.
I need that second fresh start without all the pressure of New Year’s Eve (IYKYK). I need that time of transition where it feels like the whole world is moving into a new phase and a “new you” is encouraged and welcomed. September is my second January.
I celebrate this second new year in different ways. Sometimes I’ve treated myself to a new “back-to-school” wardrobe to help me feel a bit more refreshed and to remind myself that even when I don’t feel it, I am still *that* girl. Other times I’ve curated booklists for myself as pseudo coursework for the English classes I’m taking now only my heart. Still others I’ve planned a personal, day-long retreat where I can pray, reset, and think about the things I want and need for the next season. One year I completely rearranged my bedroom so I could create a writing space for my business.
Whatever way I celebrate, it’s something intentional to enrich me that only relies on me—not others—to make a positive change in my life. And, in a way, it is like going back to school. I learn new things about myself in this second new year. I become more of who I am and uncover parts of myself I didn’t know were there. In short, I grow.
How about you? Does a second fresh start sound like exactly what you need right now? What can you do to celebrate this second new year? If you decide to celebrate, let me know what you do!
Taina Evans says
I needed to read this because it provides an explanation for my life. I am a lifetime learner, myself and the tools you provided, I’m absorbing all of it! School shopping, list of books to read, all of it. My husband doesn’t get it. If we had the budget, I’d enroll in classes every year, just because it feeds that need to learn. Good to know I’m not alone in the “outside”.
Kathryn H. Ross says
Girl, I’d be enrolling in classes every year if I could afford it, too! So glad this spoke to you and made you feel less alone. ♥️
TL says
My first few years out of school and working full-time (year-round), I remember feeling a distinct melancholy and fatigue during late spring and early summer. It would last for several weeks. It took a few years of this pattern for me to realize that I was used to being on summer break! I think on some level I was mourning my former routine and life stage. I really like this idea of a second start in the year; it certainly would have helped me ease into ‘life on the outside’!
Kathryn H. Ross says
I hear you! When I started seriously working through the summers it was such an odd adjustment and there was a mourning period. I hope your second start is as life-giving as a fresh school year! 💛
Glyndora C. King says
This is a perfect follow-up for The Perfect Lie. Although these poems are from the heart, soul, and mind of a young woman who is starting on a wonderful journey, finding your way through those delightful portals while I am an 84 year old woman who has had an incredible journey, education for myself, sharing my experiences with 38 years of young minds who shared with me their eagerness to impact my life as they grow and experience the turn of a century with me. I travel another ribbon of highway with four amazing sons, one incredible daughter who have enriched my life and have given me purpose, inspiration, so much joy! My companion, my understanding husband, has traveled with me to shepherd me through this perfect life. Like you I had to recognize that the perfection in Him and the joy that I experience when I recognize that He has allowed me to experience fulfillment in His plan and purpose for our lives. Thank you.
Kathryn H. Ross says
Glyndora,
This was such a lovely comment to receive! Thank you for sharing a glimpse into your amazing life and sharing you rich wisdom. I so appreciate this and I’m so glad my words resonated with you. 💛🥰
Lexy says
This is such a fresh perspective. I appreciate the renewed way of thinking.
Kathryn H. Ross says
Thank you so much 💛
Line says
I love learning too. For me, June is the second New Year. That’s when I review my goals and finances and reevaluate myself as to how I am doing and if on the right track or not. I think it’s a great idea to have a “second New Year” to reevaluate, refresh, reignite the fire, whenever that may be…Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Kathryn H. Ross says
Thank you for sharing yours!! 💕
Deb says
Ooh love this perspective. I’m also still living the school rhythm even though I’ve been outside of it for a while. There’s just something a little more manageable about starting fresh after summer than after Christmas. But also, I think anything that marks time & causes us to be a little more aware for a period is a good thing. Thanks for sharing!
Kathryn H. Ross says
Absolutely! After Christmas I don’t want to do anything 🤭 thank you for reading!