Sis, sometimes, the reality we create in our minds can be a prison for our dreams. We imagine a perfect scenario and think we must follow it exactly, which can stop us from seeing all the amazing possibilities out there. I remember different moments in my life when I had to decide whether to hold on to something or let it go.

In high school, I didn’t have plans to go to college. I wanted to work in ministry to help others, get married young, and start a family. That was what I saw around me, and I thought that would be my path, too. Luckily, I had a mentor at church who encouraged me to pursue college and chase my dreams. She told me, “The world is much bigger than you think, dream bigger.” So I let go and went to college.

Later, after completing my bachelor’s degree and working for a few years, I decided to go back to school for my master’s degree. Honestly, I wondered if I was losing my mind because I didn’t enjoy school much. Though I loved learning, I wasn’t the typical college student. Still, I knew I wanted to pursue my graduate studies. Balancing work and school was tough, especially when juggling case management and driving across Texas for hours each day. As the time for completing my practicum came closer, I chose to leave my full-time job and take a job that paid less. I began working as a part-time scheduler for a nanny agency, and I also wrote home studies for foster families, managing to make ends meet with what little money I had.

Over the years, I continued to change jobs in order to complete my practicums, which, by the way, were unpaid. (I hope the social work field changes that someday.) If I had clung too tightly to my original plans, I might never have gone to graduate school. I was worried about money, the unpaid internships, and if I could even swing it. Yet, instead of focusing on what I was afraid of, I focused on my career and education, trusting that future me would thank younger me — and I do love young Faitth for all her hard work and for saving me from doing everything later.

As I approached my thirties, I decided to stop using dating apps and start asking God to send me the right partner. I realized my own ways weren’t working and I needed divine help, but I also needed to remove the idolization of marriage from my life. I had to accept that I might never get married. Starting that journey of being content with my life as it was, single, helped me make space for what I truly wanted. Sometimes, letting go doesn’t mean giving up; it means making room for new possibilities. If things happen, great. If not, I’ll be okay.

Looking back, I now see how I had to let go of the life I imagined for myself. I was too young to realize it at the time, but I’ve come to see how in each phase of my life, I constructed a perfect “scenario.” Yet, nothing unfolded as I planned. Along with the changes, every phase of life brought new lessons and personal growth. I had to remind myself to stay present and not wish those moments away. Today, I can honestly say I’m grateful for every experience, adventure, and memory that has allowed me to live life to the fullest. I have lived a beautiful and full life, and most of it is because I decided to say “yes” and try new things. (Shout-out to Shonda Rhimes’ book, Year of Yes. I read it in my twenties, and it was a game-changer for me.)

Maybe you’re feeling like you need to let something go. Perhaps you need to calm your mind and let go of the dreams or plans you had for yourself. Could it be that your vision of how things should turn out is actually holding you back? Are you being too rigid with your plans or overly dependent on everything happening exactly as you imagine? Think about ways you might loosen your grip on those plans and trust that what’s meant to be will find its way to you.

Sis, speak your truth and share your thoughts in the comments below. What dreams are you dreaming and what dreams are you releasing this new year?