When my son was only four years old, my husband passed away. Like many others, I wanted to find a way to honor his legacy and ensure that my son would never forget his father.

We live in the age of social media, where everyone posts a message shortly after the loss and shares a few pictures. Then, time passes, and the memories begin to fade.

As a mother, how do I ensure (and assure) my late husband that “He doesn’t forget you?”

Keeping their memory alive can be very difficult for someone who is also grieving when just the sight of a photo, their scent, or the sound of their voice is triggering.

There was a time when I wanted to pack everything away until I was “ready” to face it. I didn’t want to see anything that reminded me of my husband.

But what about my son? Even though he was a small child, he soon began to miss his presence.

Almost five years have passed, and while I don’t have all the answers, I can share what I have done and will continue to do to keep his memory alive in my home.

Here are 3 things that have worked for us:

1. I decided to leave pictures and paintings of my husband in our home. These visual reminders are a constant presence, allowing my son to see his father’s face and remember their love. My husband started a family tradition by commissioning a yearly father-and-son painting of the two of them. After his passing, I continued the tradition by painting their last photo together. We have that painting hanging over my son’s bed, and he finds comfort in knowing his dad is watching over him. His face lit up when he realized he was in all the paintings with his dad.

2. Another meaningful practice I’ve adopted is reading letters and messages from my husband’s close friends. Shortly after my husband’s passing, I asked his close friends if they would write letters to my son about their relationship with his father. These heartfelt words offer comfort and solace and provide my son with a deeper understanding of his father’s impact on others. It allows him to see his dad’s positive influence beyond our immediate family.

3. Sharing physical items that belonged to my husband has been another way to keep his memory alive. I have carefully saved some of his clothes and shoes, allowing my son to touch and feel the tangible connection to his father. I have his things hanging up in my son’s closet so he can pull things out whenever he needs to. Some nights, he wears his T-shirt or his socks to bed. He keeps a pair of my husband’s slippers next to his bed. I even placed my husband’s desk plate on his dresser.

While these practices have been essential in preserving my husband’s memory, creating a legacy goes beyond sharing photos and reading letters. It requires open and honest conversations with my son about his father. I encourage him to ask questions, share his memories, and express his emotions openly. By fostering an environment where his father’s memory is acknowledged and celebrated, I hope to ensure that my son grows up with a deep understanding and connection to his dad.

This also serves as a reminder to take photos, make memories, and enjoy every moment of life.

Every individual’s journey is unique, and I understand there is no one-size-fits-all approach to preserving memories. How have you preserved the memories of your loved ones? What steps have you taken to ensure that they are not forgotten?