The warnings kept coming but I didn’t heed them. Over the past few years, they’d become more pronounced. A woman who I didn’t know very well got the courage to tell me that something bad was going to happen if I didn’t slow down and address my health. Then a dear friend drove to my house and told me she was sure the Lord wanted me to slow down and take stock of my life. Yet another friend urged me to throw away my “to do list” and just learn to sit still for a while. Each time, I knew it was God speaking to me, and I earnestly wanted to slow down.
When I shared my dilemma with a former student, she asked me, “When you are driving down the street and you see a stop sign, do you have difficulty making the decision to stop?” I laughed at the analogy, but it really resonated with me. Unfortunately, I didn’t immediately do what I knew I needed to do: stop right then and do what the Lord was urging me to do.
I am wired differently than most people. I feel my best when I am doing five things at once and crushing most of them. People have asked, “When will you ever slow down?” and, before the fall, my reply was some version of “when I can no longer do it.” I thought that time would come when I was in my 90’s if I was blessed enough to live that long.
Then, on a beautiful day in early August while I was coming up the walk to my house and talking to a friend on my cell phone, my world turned upside down. I tripped and—in a millisecond—I was faceplanting into a concrete step. I could feel the blood oozing out of my head, but I couldn’t move my arms or legs. I am so thankful that my husband was at home and heard my cries for help. I immediately began to pray and ask God to heal my body. By the time the paramedics arrived, I was able to stand up with their assistance and take two steps to the gurney—an immediate answer to prayer.
I spent three days in a trauma unit where it was determined that I’d broken my nose, sustained a cervical fracture and needed 22 stitches in my head. The miracle is that I only had a slight concussion and was able to pass the protocol with flying colors. The recovery was nothing short of miraculous, and three weeks later I was able to go to London for my 65th birthday cruise. I boarded the flight, donning a fancy neck brace, an ankle brace, and a cane. This was not how I imagined this milestone, but I was grateful for the gift.
Three days into my vacation, I aggravated an old ankle injury which led to my real period of slowing down and reflecting. My initial thoughts were to put on a smile and push through. That didn’t last long. My ankle pain persisted, and I realized I would only get better when I decided to be obedient to the command to really slow down and take stock. This is where I am now. Someone shared this thought with me, “Healing also means taking responsibility for the role you play in your own suffering.” That hit home. God, who gave me every opportunity to slow down on my own, was now taking the reins and reeling me in.
Life after the fall has been a gift. The sound of silence is my new friend. Sitting with the Lord and really hearing has become such a pleasure. It is humbling to acknowledge that I cannot do everything. Saying “No” is not only necessary, it’s liberating. My body and mind need rest to heal. Healing can come spontaneously, but the best lessons come on the healing journey. I am learning how to be gentle with myself and how to trust the boundaries my body has erected. It is not easy, but it gets better every day.
Another lesson that I am learning is how much I miss when I am going too fast. I missed important events by rushing through emails and deleting them at the speed of light. I missed the subtle cries for help from friends because I was multitasking and not being present with them. I missed the loving communion with God as I opted for praying on the go.
I am beyond grateful that God loves me so much that he stopped me in my tracks. I am grateful for this period of recalibration that is becoming my new cadence. I am thankful for getting back on the path to my purpose, and I already feel the joy of reconnecting with my authentic self. I have missed the gift being present with myself and look forward to exploring more of who God created me to be. It feels so good.
Leave a Comment
Ashley Harrison says
I’m in the moment of recalibration and resetting. Hardest part has been forcing myself to sit down but it’s definitely necessary. This post truly resonated with me.
Tina Berryman says
Thank you!
Juliana says
Thanks for the reminder to slow down, before I fall down.
Veronica says
Thanks for sharing such a truth-telling Soulcare/Selfcare testimony. It certainly resonated with me.
Cynthia says
Pride truly comes before the fall! God never tells us to so anything for no reason. God guides us with intention. We need to live that way.
Thanks for sharing.
Yolanda Watson says
Wow! What an awesome testament to God’s grace and mercy. Thanks for sharing.
Johanna says
Deborah, you have put into words my situation. I can relate to
“Healing also means taking responsibility for the role you play in your own suffering.” That hit home. God, who gave me every
opportunity to slow down on my own, was now taking the reins and reeling me in.”
Thank you,
Johanna
Janet Williams Green says
Thank you for sharing your testimony. I believe many of us can attest to this. However, the ending sometimes don’t be the same. I’m dealing with so much right now and there are time I feel like a total failure, but zi also know that these trials come to make us better and stronger…I am an overcomer.
Mrs. A.K. Gillespie says
Something similar happened to me in 2008. I was working, teaching tennis, and was volunteering that year. I wanted to go to Georgia to see the Ga. Tech women play in the NCAA tournament (they won it that year), but during the tennis-teaching session the day before, I broke my wrist in 3 places. Then later that year, LAM showed up as a collapsed lung (spontaneous pneumothorax) at the beach that September, a few weeks before I was scheduled for a myomectomy. My mom had placed a poem in my room a few years earlier (when I was doing Amway on top of the other tasks), which explained how God wanted me to slow down. Sometimes you have to make the sacrifice to make time for yourself, so you can do other things you want to do LATER.
Evalyne L Bryant Ward says
I am thankful for God’s mercy and grace towards you. I pray that your journey is blessed, rewarding, and peaceful.