Her words still echo in my mind.

“What if this is it?” she asked. “What if it doesn’t get any better than this? What if what we have and where we are in life, right now, is it? What if this is the best it ever gets?”

What started as a conversation between two older women about future career goals ended with a scary revelation. What if she is right? What if it doesn’t get any better than this? 

At twenty years of age, the doors are wide open and you have the whole world at your feet. By the time you reach your mid-30s, you begin to question the doors you chose to go through and think about what doors may still be open. But, by the time you enter your mid-40s, you see some of those doors closing and some shut forever.

Still, the most alarming part is that the life you imagined, all those years ago, still doesn’t exist . . . and likely never will.

The child you never had, the relationship that never healed, the accolades you didn’t get, the goals you never met. That position on the mountaintop that you never reached.  

You are a different person now. You don’t have the energy, the look, or the privilege of being young and carefree. No. Now you have the weight of a spouse, kids, aging parents, school loans, mortgage, debt, work demands, physical and mental health issues, and your own inevitable aging.  Add to that the endless hurling of curveballs like sickness, divorce, death, layoffs, loss of property, and  bankruptcy.

Chile, the weight of it all can be so heavy, so depressing. It can be difficult to find joy and keep moving forward. But you are still here — breathing, walking, moving, thinking, loving, and living. Even on the days you don’t feel like it.

There must be a reason: This can’t be it. There is more. But it will look different, it will feel different, it will be different. It may be more difficult and may not be that dreamy life you imagined long ago. Still, don’t give up.  

There is still joy to be had and goals to accomplish. There are still people who need your presence in their life. There is still wisdom to impart and fun to be had.  

It’s time to create a new vision — one that aligns with where you are in life right now. Things that you, at least in theory, could still do or try. Call the friend, send the text, adopt the pet, take the road trip, go on the date, move closer to your child (or parent), start the side gig, join the gym, write in the journal, read the novel, submit the story, sell the art, play the instrument, earn the certificate, take the course, accept the promotion, file the paperwork, join the club, volunteer with the organization, cut the hair, get the tattoo you’ve always wanted, have the wine and the cookie.

Explore everything that aligns with your spirit and your purpose. Foster and develop new and old passions, relationships, and interests. But most importantly, keep living.

And when life throws you a curveball — and it absolutely will — breathe, cry, yell, scream, kick, and then talk to God. Wipe your tears, dust yourself off, and keep going.

Because, this ain’t it — you’ve got more ground to cover and a long way to go!