As I approach my 45th birthday, I’ve reflected on the journey that has brought me here. Like many of you, I’ve faced my share of challenges, wins, and transitions. As Black women, especially those of us over 40, there’s a narrative that often plays in our heads: “You’re too old to start over.” This limiting belief has kept many of us stuck in situationships, relationships, and careers that no longer serve us.

But here’s the truth—age is not a barrier; it’s a testament to the wisdom, resilience, and strength we’ve gained along the way. And if something isn’t working or no longer serves us, starting over is not just okay—it’s necessary. It’s a powerful act of self-empowerment that we, as Black women over 40, are more than capable of.

Over the last four years, I’ve realized three important things about starting over, particularly as I approach 45. These lessons have reshaped my perspective and empowered me to embrace new beginnings confidently and gracefully.

1. Starting Over Is a Sign of Growth, Not Failure

One of the biggest myths we believe is that starting over is synonymous with failure. But let me tell you something—recognizing that something isn’t working and having the courage to make a change is one of the most powerful things you can do. It’s a sign that you’re growing, becoming more self-aware, and refusing to settle for anything less than what you deserve.

When I decided to pivot in my professional and personal life, it wasn’t because I had failed at what I was doing. It was because I had outgrown it. The paths I walked served their purpose, but I realized they no longer aligned with who I was becoming. And that’s okay. Starting over doesn’t mean erasing your past; it means building upon it with the lessons you’ve learned, the experiences you’ve gained, and the wisdom you’ve acquired.

2. It’s Never Too Late to Pursue Your Passion

Another limiting belief that many of us struggle with is the idea that it’s too late to pursue our passions or dreams. We think there’s a “right” time to do things—go to school, start a career, get married, have children—and if we haven’t achieved certain milestones by a certain age, we’ve missed our chance. But the truth is, there’s no expiration date on your dreams.

At 45, I’m more intentional and driven than ever. I’ve realized that my passions are not just hobbies but are necessary for my well-being and happiness. Whether it’s starting a new business or going back to school, it’s never too late to do what brings you joy. Age brings clarity and wisdom.

3. Change Is Inevitable, but it’s Not a Bad Thing

As we age, our bodies change, our priorities shift, and the world evolves. But instead of fearing change, I’ve learned to embrace it as an opportunity for reinvention. The beautiful thing about growing older is that you become more aware of what you want and what you don’t. You start to let go of things that no longer serve you—whether it’s a toxic relationship, a draining job, or unhealthy habits.

Approaching 45 has made me realize that change isn’t something to resist; it’s something to welcome with open arms. Each new chapter brings the chance to rewrite your story and make choices that align with who you are now, not who you were. Change is not just about letting go of the old, but also about making space for the new. It’s about understanding that life is fluid and that your journey is uniquely yours to shape. It’s a liberating process that frees us from the burdens of the past.

As Black women, we were told to be strong, to endure, and to keep pushing even when it’s clear that something isn’t working. But strength isn’t just about holding on; it’s also about knowing when to let go and start over. We owe it to ourselves to live lives that reflect our true selves, our desires, and our values. And if that means starting over at 45, 50, or beyond, then so be it.

Remember, you are not too old to start over. Embrace the changes that come with age, and don’t be afraid to pursue new dreams, take new risks, and create a life that truly fulfills you. Life doesn’t end at 40 or 45—it’s just beginning. And the best part? You get to write the next chapter. I know I am. Let this message of empowerment and inspiration uplift and motivate you to embrace your journey of starting over.

Are you ready to start over?