“I am not buying another journal today,” is what I said to my friend.

So, I walked straight past the aisle with the journals and went on my way to the housewares. I didn’t need any housewares, though. And I didn’t need another journal. I already have no fewer than thirty-five mostly empty journals at home.

When I walk past the journals in any store there is a 99% chance I will stop and look at them. I take time to feel and open several of them. I imagine that they have worn covers and cracked spines on the outside and are filled with pages of my colorful handwriting on the inside, a different shade for each entry, since I have a thing for colored ink pens, too. But I know this to be a daydream because, like I said, I have thirty-five mostly empty journals at home.

Furthermore, when I hang around the journals in any store, there’s a 75% chance I’ll buy one or two of them, especially if they’re on sale. Then, at home I examine them once or twice more before setting them into the space designated for them — eye level on the bookshelf, based on height and leaning slightly backward, each of them being supported by the one behind it. Then, I step back and smile, and I admire the whole family of my journals. None of them are labeled, but I still know the contents, or lack thereof, in each of them.

The oldest journal entered my life on May 7, 1986, one month before I graduated from high school. It’s covered in a pink cotton fabric that reminds me of Hawaii because of its hibiscus flowers that are always on Hawaiian clothes and souvenirs. I took it off the shelf and read the first page. It was a message from Ms. Marble, my high school creative writing teacher.

Pam: You have excellent insight into the feelings of people. It shows in your writing. Keep growing and feeling and translate it to the page. Go for it.

But I didn’t go for it. I kept growing and I kept feeling, but I didn’t keep writing and didn’t start again until eight years later. In time, however, using journals wasn’t about chronicling my life’s most intimate details. In them, I discovered how much I simply loved the physical act of writing — penning, coloring, and seeing my handwriting on the page.

I love the colors of the ink that flow from the tips of my hundreds of gel pens, erasable pens, felt tip and ballpoint pens, and markers — dancing gracefully and with precision across the page, between lines intended to guide the rhythm of their movement. And my thoughts, sometimes they follow along, and sometimes they lead.

I discovered that using journals is about having somewhere to compartmentalize the different parts of life. By assigning each one of them a topic — like finances, home notes, and, yes, even writing — I can avoid getting overwhelmed. I can choose what to deal with, what to focus on, and what to avoid at any given moment.

Journals help me keep track of life’s trivial things that become important when I need them, like measurements of the area rug I need to replace and the exact specifications of the latest coffee drink I’m obsessed with. Journals help me recall items on my to-do list, errands to run, and my wish list of small home projects.

And when it comes to using journals for my writing, I use them to jot down quotes, sources, anecdotes, observations, and conversations that become inspiration for creating stories or transforming a situation into one. Using journals this way, instead of for writing the story of my life, fits exactly who I am by nature: a practical, pragmatic, productivity-driven, purposeful perfectionist.

And, as much as I wanted to turn my journals into the keepers of my creativity, I realized that for me, their purpose is to be the keepers of the stuff that bogs down my brain and holds me back from my creativity. My journals help me free up the mental space and energy to be creative. So, from now on, I’m going to give my journals (and myself) some grace by relieving both of us from the expectations of being something we’re not.

Sis, give yourself permission to breathe and be real with the 100 Days of Living Uplifted and Empowered Journal by Mahogany, featuring encouraging prompts and space for writing out your most personal thoughts. Shop now and stay inspired, uplifted, and empowered with our entire Mahogany collection.