“Eww what is this?” I asked my dad who was sitting at the head of the table. He looked at mine and my siblings’ confused faces as we stared at our plates with different food than normal. My sister picked up a fork full of salt fish and ackee. She smelled it then scrunched up her face. My dad explained our dinner was Caribbean food that he ate growing up. “Taste the fried dumplings. You’ll like it,” he suggested. My sister, brother, and I all picked up a dumpling from our plates and tried it. The sweet fried bread melted in our mouths.
“This one is good!” I exclaimed. He suggested we try it with the saltfish and peppers. The combination blew my tastebuds away and I was hooked; my brother was too. My sister, however, stuck with the fried dumplings. Soon after that dinner, my father fried plantains (a sweet tropical fruit) as an after school snack one day. Weeks later, my dad bought home mangoes from the market. He showed us how to peel the skin and suck the juices from the mangoes. We sat at the table for almost an hour eating.
My father, Wendel, was born in Antigua, West Indies. He was raised in a small village with his parents and eleven siblings. After high school he moved to Michigan and soon graduated with an engineering degree. He settled down and married Juanita, whom he met at church. They had three children: Camille, Malissa, and Wendel II. Although he made Michigan his home, Antigua is his heartbeat and he loves his country. Everyday reminders of his childhood paradise keep his home alive for him, and sharing his Antigua culture with us has always been important to our father.
The dinner table is where my dad first introduced my siblings and me to our Antiguan culture. During dinner we asked more questions about the food and its history. He told us about the recipes from his mother, aunts, and other family members. His sister, Roseabell, would send her family famous black cake twice a year. My dad would savor every bite, giving us only one piece each. Black cake contains dried fruit, nuts, spices, and rum. My aunt’s black cake was special in the family because she blended the nuts and fruit so the texture was smooth, which made it tasty to us kids. When we had family gatherings we tasted even more dishes. At weddings, graduations, and baby showers we’d have curry chicken, rice and peas, cabbage, dumplings, goat, fish, fried plantains, and more. We also drank homemade sorrel and ginger beer, made by my father. The best parts of those events were always the stories my aunts and uncles would tell. My cousins and I loved hearing how our parents grew up in Antigua. They would tell us stories and they all derived to one common theme: family is everything. They taught us to take care of each other, support each other, and help each other. One story my dad and his siblings are known for is how some of them came to the U.S. The oldest child received a college scholarship. He in turn paid for the next sibling to attend college in the U.S. They in turn paid for the next sibling and so on and so forth. They literally paid for each other’s education which played a big part in their different success stories. They helped each other and reminded us daily of the bond we all share.
As we grew older, family vacations to Antigua became more frequent. The first time we went, my dad took us around the island and when we saw all the food vendors we quickly realized we were far from the dinner table. Experiencing the island with him was exciting and adventurous. Seeing the three bedroom house he grew up in and meeting family members were unforgettable experiences. We finally got to meet his best friend since childhood, Uncle Tucky, and his family, who we still travel with today!
Learning about my culture started at the dinner table when my siblings and I were young. My father poured our history into us. Today I still listen to Caribbean music, have friends in Antigua, cook our family recipes, and more. Had it not been for my father intentionally educating us on our culture we would not know or appreciate its deep roots that connect us no matter the distance.
Through the years we’ve gotten older, but our dinner table traditions continue. My father is still surprising us with new treats, and our kids too. I write a newsletter for the family to keep our relationship tight as we’re spread throughout the world. We still want to be connected to care, support, and help each other.
How has your culture brought your family together?
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